Saturday afternoon I was hanging out at home, chilling before my performance in Tucson. I get a friend request from Jon Stewart. Yeah, right. The Jon Stewart? I clicked on Jon, and it went to what appeared to be an official Facebook page, where you could just “like” the page, which I believe I had liked over a year ago.
This was the actual photo on the conversation, and when I clicked on it…it went to what looks like an official page.
And the photo of Jon corresponded to the same exact photo of him on the site, that is liked by 24k people. That’s not a lot for Jon….nevertheless, about an hour after accepting his friend request, I wrote a private message. It began with referring to whomever this was as Santa….because if this was really Jon Stewart, it would be a dream come true for me! I have watched all of his shows since day one. In my “Tea Bag Party People” video, I hold up a sign saying “I heart Jon Stewart”. He is in another video of mine when I interview Neil Degrasse Tyson, who has been a guest on his show, numerous times. I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out how I can get my book to him…I met him years ago in Austin on a movie set, where we were both filming different things. When I met Springsteen for the first time, my opening line to him was, “I am so jealous that you met Jon Stewart! He has presidents and world leaders on his show and maintains his cool, but when he had you on, he acted like a giddy school girl!” I’ve been in the audience on his show. I have his book…let’s just say I am a fan.
Ummm, is this really Santa?
17 minutes ago
yes it is me
Santa?! Am I your favorite Jew on your list!!??
Thank you for liking my page , Support you showered on me, I hope you never stop watching my movies and shows and reading my books…
ok. Prove it’s you. I met you in Texas on a film set….you were sitting with Bebe Neuwirth. What town were you in?
you tell me what town you met me ?
nope. not the right answer. Shoudn’t pull on my strings that way. Jon is my hero, Santa.
you don’t know the town you met me what a pity
I do. I’ve met Jon Stewart twice. But I have not met you. But thanks for makikng me think for a split second that just maybe this was legit. Peace. Have your people call my people.
what do you mean this is legit
duh. You are not Jon.
Gotta go. I have a date with Colbert now
i am jon
ok. What was the name of the Rabbi who circumsized you?
and what town do you live in the Shore?
Message cannot be sent based on either the receivers’ privacy settings or yours.
See you in Red Bank.
Message cannot be sent based on either the receivers’ privacy settings or yours.
Chat
I was obviously testing him to see if it was really him. After the circumcised statement, I was blocked. So, there are three possibilities.
1) The Daily Show has a staff that is reaching out to people who have liked the page, randomly.
2) I was actually speaking with Jon Stewart, who had nothing better to do, and he found my circumcision question offensive, or put his nose up, because I spelled it, and a few other words, incorrectly. (There should be a “z”in it…I hate spelling.)
3) It was some asshole, pretending to be Stewart. (Perhaps Fox News strategizing to alienate his fans.)
If it’s number one, that is very lame, and most likely not the case. First of all, the page only has 24 thousand likes. Stewart should have millions.
Secondly, a marketing ploy to boost support for show and products? If that was the strategy….lame.
If it’s number two, well….it can’t be. Jon has a great sense of humor. So, I would think his responses would be more clever.
If it’s the third, you suck….pretending troll.
I think there should be some law that does not allow anyone to pretend they are just anyone on the internet. It’s out of control.
But I let it get to me! You know, that little part of you that hopes something is true. These hopes are what pariah prey upon. When people get things in the mail that are too good to be true, some dreamers go for it. They get swindled out of something by the lowlifes who take advantage of their naiveté.
But I. Let. It. Get. To. Me.
I was in a shitty mood after being blocked, (just in case it was really Jon, and I blew my big chance to get him my book…so he would have me on the show, because my story is just so awesome that he couldn’t resist.) And I actually took the energy to go over what I could have said instead…to test if it was really him, like, why are you writing me? (Like he knew about my videos, that I owned his book, rave about him all the time, etc.) Or, when is your documentary coming out? Or, what’s the name of the toy store where you hang out in Red Bank…with Bruce Springsteen? Or, how cool is Neil Degrasse Tyson?
I couldn’t snap out of it, and it affected my performance that night. I was mad at myself for not being able to just shake it off.
Then last night, I watched the show, but was slightly bitter, just in case it was his people…
Then this morning, I went back to our conversation on facebook, and all of his comments had been removed, and marked as spam. Being the pessimist that I am, I was glad I had taken a picture, and made a copy of my alleged conversation with my hero.
This message is no longer available because it was identified as abusive or marked as spam.
Anyway, Jon, the real Jon Stewart, if you happen to read this blog, I’m quite sure this douche bag was not you. And I hope you do reach out to me someday soon, so we can chat, and maybe you can read my book, and have me on your show.
TEA BAG PARTY PEOPLE
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON FOR PRESIDENT – LINDA CHORNEY’S DREAM 1 (My moronic interview with a genius)
So, I am a bit of a Sci-fi geek. Here is an encore performance of dream 2 – (Part 2 of dream sequence with Neil DeGrasse Tyson! And of course, if you are a Trekee, you might enjoy this….btw – I am OLD GENERATION!
Beam Me up Scotty!
Star Trek Rocks, Neil DeGrasse Tyson Rocks, and Science Rocks! Fact Rocks!
P.S. (For Linda Stone…yes, it is fun to be back to just being the goofy me, as opposed to the Grammy me.)
Tada! I have so much respect for the guy….(I am not obsessed…just having fun.)
Just call me Scorcese. I’m already practicing my Oscar acceptance speech!
So, when I was changing planes last week on route to Oregon, what were the chances that there was a huge television show display, complete with full size Kirk, Bones, and Spock!?
It was too cosmic, man! Seriously, you should have seen the look on people’s faces as I made out with Kirk and posed, while my husband photographed. My honey is such a sport. He was disappointed when he couldn’t find Uhura.
Before the trip, when I interviewed Neil, I was lucky enough to sit in on his radio show with Moby!….(quietly on the floor.) Here’s a link to that show….with the other awesome guests.
I know I said this before, but I really must emphasize how wonderful it is to have programs that entertain and educate; and how important good teachers are, too!
Well, at least I can look scholastic.
Stay tuned for my dream – part 3…THE NIGHTMARE!
And someone please tell me how to spell “HUNE!” I keep searching by spelling, huin, huun, hune, heun…spell check sucks.
(Below is a great quote from Maher, taken from clip of my “Tea Bag Party” video…(But enough about me!) (And Bill just trumped that quote with his hilarious response to Bachmann and Palin when referred to as “MILFS” – “Morons I’d Like to Forget.”) (But enough about him.)
You may also recognize Dr. Tyson from the Post Office’s “Most Wanted” poster for killing Pluto!
(Watch this clip! It’s awesome!)
Regardless of murdering Pluto, Neil’s popularity has grown so much that he has his own hip radio show, too. Star Talk Radio!
Neil puts the “Rock” in Rocket! The astrophysicist gives “star” a literal meaning in his Rock Star status!
And who would have imagined talk shows featuring guests that actually make you think? That you can learn from! And be entertained at the same time!
I want to personally thank my favorite, brilliant, hysterical hosts for having these shows to preserve what sanity I have left, while exposing these amazing minds to mainstream television.
Featuring intellects and politicians (not always synonymous, in fact, frequently oxymoronic), have become massively popular!
If you don’t know this favorite guest of many, you are missing out!
But whether you know him or not, here, in this blog, you can see another dimension of the Sex Symbol of Science!
Damn! If he had been my professor in school, I would have rushed to class. (Then maybe I wouldn’t have dropped out!)
I predict that Neil will be added to the next updated school History and Science books! (In the States that actually print fact. I guess Texas is out.)
Mighty Tyson’s personality is as bright as his brain! His enthusiasm, and conviction are heart-felt and inspiring.
I found that out the first time I met Dr. Tyson, several years ago, before he became a 21st Century Rock Star.
He kind of reminds me of my Dad, who has his Ph.D. from M.I.T. in E.E. (That sure is a mouth full of letters!) (None of which I posses…Mailman?)
Despite the genius stats, they are both very charming and funny!
Neil’s latest television appearance was on “Real Time”, August 5th, 2011.
(If you have HBO, check it out!…it’s too bad we all have to pay to see programs that drop “F” bombs….but my blog is free!)
After watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Bill Maher, I realized that he’s not only a Rockin’ Scientist! He could run our friggin’ country; fix our economy, and bring up the GPA of the next, “Next Generation”.
Neil for President, 2012!!!
Of course, running the country with logic seems to be a stretch even more so these days.
And the audience of Stewart, Colbert, Maher, and me, are usually all on the same team. It’s not as if we are enlightening anyone from La La Land with an associate’s degree from FOX Community College. They don’t watch these “Liberal, Elitist, Commi-Socialist” programs.
The audience ate Neil up! He was the DH of the panel.
In short, every time Neil came to the plate…BAMM!
TYSON HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK!
I was cheering as if it was the World Series of ’75, Game 6, when Carlton Fisk hit that historical homer!
I felt every word! I wanted to join in! If I could only get a chance to speak with him again!! But he’s too famous now.
I couldn’t stop thinking about The Mighty Tyson!
Tossing and turning…”Oh, if I only had my own show! And I could have Neil on as a guest! He says what I sing! I could ask him riveting questions!”
I finally fell asleep and had this wild dream……
This portion of my dream is sponsored by Uranus!
The next portion of my dream will be sponsored by Urethra!
…meanwhile, after sleepwalking to the bathroom, the dream continues tomorrow!!
Do you ever have one of those dreams that just goes on and on? The one’s that you WANT to go on? This is one of them!!!
Next, Neil will talk about Star Trek and his radio program “Star Talk Radio” !
You don’t have to have a Ph.d to listen! You don’t even have to be smart. It’s like running for President of the United States…and sometimes even winning! You don’t need to be qualified!
Hmmm. Maybe it’s not just a dream! If I throw on a pair of glasses, I could look Presidential!
I’ve seen who’s running for the next election. With Neil’s looks and my brains! If they can do it, I don’t see why an accomplished Astrophysicist and a University of Miami drop-out Musician can’t!!! (Better have our birth certificates handy!)
Put great artists from Rock, Jazz, and Classical Music together, and you can wing anything and get a one of a kind performance! Witnessing this is a pure privilege.
Not only is Chris an amazing trumpet player, but he is very engaging with the audience. Tons of personality. And not hard on the eyes. He’s the Ken Doll Version of Miles Davis. (That is a compliment…he’s got the looks and the soul.)
Botti’s tour presently includes the Musical Goddess, Lisa Fischer. Chris respectfully introduces her in the show as Grammy Award winner for “Best Female Vocalist”. And continues, that when she won it at the start of her career, afterwards, she received a phone call from some dude that wanted her to join his band. Mick Jagger. She’s been with The Stones for 16 years now. I am in awe of her talent. And she is beautiful inside and out!
Me and Lisa Fischer
I was fortunate enough to have her sing several tracks of two of my albums, including my latest, “Emotional Jukebox”. She fucking rocks! Her range is astounding. Her tone is pure. Her presence is ballsy and gracious. In the studio, my jaw stayed wide open in disbelief as she belted out wild child soulful cries, creative melodies, and contrasting controlled sexy subtleties, track after track. Wish I had gotten that on my shitty iPhone recorder!
(Funny little story – when I asked Lisa to sing on “Mother’s Little Helper”, she asked in her sweet, calm voice, “Oh. What song is that?” I thought it was so cute! I guess she and the Stones had never done that song on tour. So I taught her! Yay! Maybe they will next tour! She slams on it!)
(My less optimistic answer to Springsteen’s Promise Land)
The Neighborhood of the Basie hosts a bunch of talent, like Bruce Springsteen, Jon Stewart, Max Weinberg, and of course, the token frustrated, not quite as famous, me. (Who was drooling to get up there and share this magical moment.) (I was just there 2 weeks ago performing with Pat Benatar.)
Max Weinberg and Linda Chorney @ Count Basie Theater
Uh, oh. Sorry Max, I only got that one shot, and it looks like your eyes are kinda closed.
My bad.
(Maybe your impression of Forrest Gump?…”and then I met Linda… again.”)
But at least one of us was lucky enough to be a part of the performance you are about to see, recorded on the finest piece of shit camera. (So please excuse the quality.)
It is my favorite piece (that I can’t even pronounce), from my favorite Opera, (which I can pronounce!) “Turandot!”
With the okay from Chris….
Here to perform “Nessun Dorma“, Chris Botti and his band, with special guests Lisa Fischer, Carolyn Cambell on violin; and invited to the stage, from da hood, Max Weinberg!
When you see performers having a blast, and a moment, you get to have it, too! You can’t tell from the crap footage, but there was so much joy on Max’s face. It was awesome.
And although that was the finale of the show, the highlight for me was when Lisa came out and sang one of my all time favorite writers, Burt Bacharach’s “The Look of Love”. She began acapella with a soaring, goose bump making, completely original playing with the melody intro. Lisa and Botti blew me away.
So I gots this crazy idea! My little dream team. Chris, Lisa, Max, and Moi to do a Best of Bacharach Album. No one since Dionne Warwick has been able to nail the vocals. I’m not expecting Lisa to fill her shoes. Ms. Fischer can strap on her rock and roll boots and do her own thang. And if that album ever comes out, maybe we can all get some Grammys! Or we could do an Opera? Nah.
Lisa Fischer~ Chris Botti ~Linda Chorney. (I look totally yucky in that picture. But I only got one shot of that, too. That's show biz!)
Chorney Blog 
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