Posts Tagged ‘Planet of the Apes


MONSANTO, “Killing us Softly” with their poison. Boycott the scumbags.

Today is the first day to my healthier life. GMO’s have scared the crap out of me, now that I know more. The problem is, most of us do not. We don’t understand how the shit Monsanto is putting in OUR food is “killing us softly”. But they do. And they profit.

And so does our government, yet they don’t seem motivated to do a fucking thing about it. Perhaps some do, but those with louder wallets, are able to hush the harsh reality.

Bottom line:  Below are the companies that use Monsanto GMO products. I will no longer use their products, although it will be difficult to give up some of my favorite addictions. (Like Kellogg Frosted Flakes) Sorry Tony. We’ve had some wonderful times, but you’re not so Grrrrrreat anymore. Me and my banana will miss you, terribly. They put shit on your tank.


The list reproduced above purportedly details a wealth of food-related companies or brands supposedly owned by Monsanto, the multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation. In fact, Monsanto doesn’t own the listed companies; this item appears to be an attempt to compile a list of companies selling food items that make use of products developed by Monsanto (such as artificial sweeteners or agricultural products derived from genetically engineered seed). 





Yikes! That’s just about everything in my pantry. Spring cleaning. What really sucks is that avoiding these companies’ products will cost a shitload of money in groceries. They attract us with “deals”. Sugar Pops for $1.99? I slay that special. Buy them by the six-pack. One of my favorite go-to snacks on the couch is my beloved cereal from the box. I even put it in one of my albums!! No kidding!

Lyrics to "Living Alone": "Eating Cereal from a box without a care."

Lyrics to “Living Alone”:
“Eating Cereal from a box without a care.”


That’s right. It’s even in my lyrics to the song I broke the top 40 with, 14 years ago, when cereal was cereal! On my “Racing with Reality” CD. Above is a page from the insert.

How ironic are my lyrics?  Eating cereal from a box without a care….?!!

I care now. I have to. Everything has changed. (Like that huge TV I am watching. No flat screen? Just flat boobs.)

In that particular photo, I am eating Golden Grahams. My fav! (I’m hanging my head for a moment of silence, as I give them up.)

Damn you Koch Brothers! (Imagine me saying that like Charlton Heston did, when he discovered that “They finally did it”. (Planet of the Apes is one of my favorite all time movies that I can watch on my couch eating cereal. AHHHHHHH!)

"They finally did it. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

“They finally did it. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!”

But this will snap me out of my remorse:


These are actual rats that have been fed the corn they use in cereal chalked with 12 essential vitamins and minerals?  No. Choked with GMO’s that will give you fucking cancer.

Look at these poor animals!

The results of GMO's on RATS! (I know who the real rats are)

The results of GMO’s on RATS! (I know who the real rats are)


Anyway, how can we mere mortals have a voice against the evil empire of our country? We have to stick together. We have to be educated. (So please do share this?)

Right now in Washington, they are voting whether or not these scumbags need to even tell us what they are putting in the food they sell us!

And I bet they will get their way.


I am starting my own little revolution. I hope you join me. Let’s boycott the motherfuckers. Cash in your stock now, if you own any in the companies above. Stop buying from those companies. And I am sorry for all of those employed by the Evil Empire. Maybe if we force our “Corporations” to produce healthier food, the costs will go down at Whole Foods, where my eyeballs pop out of my head when the bill comes for a small bag of groceries. And you can get a job at a competitive healthy company.

This is no joke, folks. I wish it were. I want my cereal!

But I don’t want my Lucky Charms to have it’s newest marshmallow shaped like a tumor. They’re magically suspicious.

And that photo of Chuck might not be so far fetched for our future.



I definitely love to sleep.

But dreaming is even better, when it’s about Neil Degrasse Tyson!

(I guess the secret is out….Yes, I actually met with him.  Nothing gets passed you guys.  And I am having a blast with my latest toy…iMovie.)

Without further a-doo doo, allow me to share Captain’s Log,  Dream 2 with you…

<a href=”“>

Tada!    I have so much respect for the guy….(I am not obsessed…just having fun.)

Just call me Scorcese.  I’m already practicing my Oscar acceptance speech!

So, when I was changing planes last week on route to Oregon, what were the chances that there was a huge television show display, complete with full size Kirk, Bones, and Spock!?

It was too cosmic, man!  Seriously, you should have seen the look on people’s faces as I made out with Kirk and posed, while my husband photographed.  My honey is such a sport.  He was disappointed when he couldn’t find Uhura.

Before the trip, when I interviewed Neil, I was lucky enough to sit in on his radio show with Moby!….(quietly on the floor.)  Here’s a link to that show….with the other awesome guests.

Check out Star Talk Radio.  Like I said in the vlog, it’s on every Sunday.

And if you think Neil is Sexy, you should check out the Executive Producer of the show!

Ms. Helen Matsos – Scientist and Opera Singer!

Besides Jon Stewart, Tyson has hosted Morgan Freeman, Joan Rivers, Oliver Sacks, Stephen Colbert, and Alan Alda who will be aired this coming Sunday.  Hi Hawk Eye!

Alan Alda, Helen Matsos, and Leslie Mullen.

Looks like they are celebrating the broadcast!

Gosh, I miss M.A.S.H.

 (Say that 5 times fast!)

Whoopi Goldberg will be a guest next month!

I want on!!!!  Supplied with a Cosmic Cosmo, too!

I know I said this before, but I really must emphasize how wonderful it is to have programs that entertain and educate; and how important good teachers are, too!

Well, at least I can look scholastic.

Stay tuned for my dream – part 3…THE NIGHTMARE!

And someone please tell me how to spell “HUNE!”  I keep searching by spelling, huin, huun, hune, heun…spell check sucks.

BUT NEIL DOES NOT!!!!!!  and I bet he can spell.





As a finale to my first season, I am proud to present

a mini video series of one of my heroes –


This is the length of an actual t.v. show!

Hard to edit such an outstanding individual.

So indulge when you have the time.


Especially if you are a fan of

Neil DeGrasse Tyson!

And If you don’t know who he is…

You should! Now’s your chance!

If you are a Geek of Science!

Or a fan of Old Sci-Fi Television Shows!

Don’t miss an episode!

It’s taken me a month to put together!




Neil For President!

~Dream 1~

This blog Series is sponsored by: Babes In Space!


(I threw in Barbara Eden, because Neil qualifies her as being married to an Astronaut…it counts…if Neil says so!)

You guys might recognize Neil DeGrasse Tyson as a guest on The Daily Show.

(Hip Hip Hooray! Jon just won Emmy Awards 9 years in a row tonight!)

Or The Colbert Report, or

Real Time with Bill Maher.

(Below is a great quote from Maher, taken from clip of my “Tea Bag Party” video…(But enough about me!) (And Bill just trumped that quote with his hilarious response to Bachmann and Palin when referred to as “MILFS” – “Morons I’d Like to Forget.”) (But enough about him.)

You may also recognize Dr. Tyson from the Post Office’s “Most Wanted” poster for killing Pluto!

(Watch this clip! It’s awesome!)

Regardless of murdering Pluto, Neil’s popularity has grown so much that he has his own hip radio show, too. Star Talk Radio!

Neil puts the “Rock” in Rocket! The astrophysicist gives “star” a literal meaning in his Rock Star status!

And who would have imagined talk shows featuring guests that actually make you think? That you can learn from! And be entertained at the same time!

I want to personally thank my favorite, brilliant, hysterical hosts for having these shows to preserve what sanity I have left, while exposing these amazing minds to mainstream television.

Featuring intellects and politicians (not always synonymous, in fact, frequently oxymoronic), have become massively popular!

If you don’t know this favorite guest of many, you are missing out!

But whether you know him or not, here, in this blog, you can see another dimension of the Sex Symbol of Science!

Damn! If he had been my professor in school, I would have rushed to class. (Then maybe I wouldn’t have dropped out!)

I predict that Neil will be added to the next updated school History and Science books! (In the States that actually print fact. I guess Texas is out.)

Mighty Tyson’s personality is as bright as his brain! His enthusiasm, and conviction are heart-felt and inspiring.

I found that out the first time I met Dr. Tyson, several years ago, before he became a 21st Century Rock Star.

He kind of reminds me of my Dad, who has his Ph.D. from M.I.T. in E.E. (That sure is a mouth full of letters!) (None of which I posses…Mailman?)

Despite the genius stats, they are both very charming and funny!

Neil’s latest television appearance was on “Real Time”, August 5th, 2011.

(If you have HBO, check it out!…it’s too bad we all have to pay to see programs that drop “F” bombs….but my blog is free!)

After watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Bill Maher, I realized that he’s not only a Rockin’ Scientist! He could run our friggin’ country; fix our economy, and bring up the GPA of the next, “Next Generation”.

Neil for President, 2012!!!

Of course, running the country with logic seems to be a stretch even more so these days.

And the audience of Stewart, Colbert, Maher, and me, are usually all on the same team. It’s not as if we are enlightening anyone from La La Land with an associate’s degree from FOX Community College. They don’t watch these “Liberal, Elitist, Commi-Socialist” programs.

The panel consisted of a Tea Bagger, A smart woman, some wicked funny guy, and The Tysmeyster.

The audience ate Neil up! He was the DH of the panel.

In short, every time Neil came to the plate…BAMM!


I was cheering as if it was the World Series of ’75, Game 6, when Carlton Fisk hit that historical homer!

I felt every word! I wanted to join in! If I could only get a chance to speak with him again!! But he’s too famous now.

I couldn’t stop thinking about The Mighty Tyson!

Tossing and turning…”Oh, if I only had my own show! And I could have Neil on as a guest! He says what I sing! I could ask him riveting questions!”

I finally fell asleep and had this wild dream……

This portion of my dream is sponsored by Uranus!

The next portion of my dream will be sponsored by Urethra!

…meanwhile, after sleepwalking to the bathroom, the dream continues tomorrow!!

Do you ever have one of those dreams that just goes on and on? The one’s that you WANT to go on? This is one of them!!!

Next, Neil will talk about Star Trek and his radio program “Star Talk Radio” !

You don’t have to have a Ph.d to listen! You don’t even have to be smart. It’s like running for President of the United States…and sometimes even winning! You don’t need to be qualified!

Hmmm. Maybe it’s not just a dream! If I throw on a pair of glasses, I could look Presidential!

I’ve seen who’s running for the next election. With Neil’s looks and my brains! If they can do it, I don’t see why an accomplished Astrophysicist and a University of Miami drop-out Musician can’t!!! (Better have our birth certificates handy!)





Bravo!  The best sequel since “Beyond”.  I am a die-hard fan of “Planet Of The Apes”.  It is one of my top 3 movies of all time.  Nothing will top the original, but “Rise”, well titled I might add,  was “WIFA”!

My ratings are as follows for reviewing everything:  (restaurants, books, movies, travel destinations…)

 “BRIL” – Brilliant.

 “WIFA” – Wicked Fuckin’ Awesome

 “WA” – Wicked Awesome.

  “EH” – figure it out.

 “SUBS” – Sucks Balls.

The lead actor was an ape.  He was a stud!  A kind of chimp George Clooney on steroids.

Do you remember that movie “Indecent Proposal” with Robert Redford?  Ya know, the guy offers a million dollars to the husband to bang the wife?  One time I was speaking with my X husband about it.  He said, would you do it?  I said, “I would blow a dog for a million dollars!”.  Well, let’s just say this ape was pretty sexy.

And speaking of millions I won’t ever get,  it was nice to see that gorgeous woman from “Slum Dog Millionaire“.  I’d do her for a million!  A fine cast of actors like John Lithgow, and that dude that co-bombed hosting the Oscars supported the film.  The story was great, with a few weak points, but overall, very entertaining.  I am sure it will rack up Oscars for the effects.  And hopefully they will get a pro to host, like Steve Martin or Billy Crystal.  Actually, I’d love to see them give Lewis Black or Larry David a crack at it!

This film is worth paying to see in the theatre!  A “SPLURGER”.   I think I will add that to reviews!  And “WAVE” – Wait for Video.

It would have been nice to end it like “Slum Dog”, having all the apes and the hot chick dance on the Golden Gate Bridge.  And Don’t leave when the credits start!  There is an important scene.

Speaking of which, the second most ground breaking scenes in controversial kissing history was in the original P.O.A.   The first, of course, is Kirk and Uhura, on Star Trek.  Wait until you see how they trump it in this film!

But while we are on the subject, unfortunately, I couldn’t help but imagine a few Obama bashers making some sort of crack association.  But I got past that.


Man Ape Love

"But he's so damned ugly!"


Okay.  I loved it.  It was a blast!  It was like being at a bullfight and rooting for the bull, which made me feel a little guilty about my own species.  But it didn’t get the “BRIL” ranking for the following reasons:

This is really for the P.O.A. purist geeks, like me.

We know how they trumped the kiss!  With nothing!  No Nova Sub?  What the fuck?  There were some nostalgic lines and parallels in the plot, but no kiss?

I thought the perfect opportunity would have been after Caesar escaped from Ape-Catraz, and was hanging bedside at his former home.  He could have at least spanked the monkey on Smokin’ Hot Samosa Girl!  And if a little got on What’s his Face?  Caesar had every right.  He was pretty pissed-off.

For a second there, I thought it might get racy when Caesar’s shirt got ripped off with all the fellas.  It was San Francisco!  But nope.

And when he turned down Daddy’s offer to take him back home, I heard echos of  “ATTICA, ATTICA”!

GAPING HOLE IN PLOT ALERT!  I was wondering how the brainiac scientists hadn’t noticed that “Bright Eyes” was pregnant.

I found the grumpy neighbor to be a bit over the top.  How could anyone be that much of an asshole?  (The sort that fit the profile of the guy joking about apes and Obama.)

I also thought the director could have yelled “CUT!” when the mean prison guy said, “Take your stinking”….  I know it is impossible to fill Chuck’s shoes in delivering one of the greatest lines of all time!  I mean, to this day, I scream, “YEAH!” every time it comes in the movie, even though I know it’s coming!   I have seen it at least 20 times!  That line could have been done better.   Actually, that guy was the weakest actor.

The technology used for the Apes was superb.  But it would have been cool to have used the good old-fashioned costumes.

The most tender, emotional shot was taken from an above camera looking down at James Franco’s arm against Lithgow’s arm in blue-striped pajamas, after he had passed away.  I got choked up.  And also when they left Caesar at Ape-Catraz.  Wah!

Although sad, I really dug the Alzheimer’s route.  I truly hope someone invents that drug before I go completely bananas.  However, the ending, implying the demise of the human race via virus? What about the nuclear war?  The mutants that worshiped the bomb?

Maybe you thought the same thing about the sequel.  Obviously, “Cornelia” (the female chimp), hooks up with Caesar.  That’s a no brainer.  And of course, their son is named “Cornelius”, which brings us back to the original.  But how do we explain half a Statue O’ Liberty on the beach?  She could not have gotten the virus!

So I figured it out.

Scene I of Sequel:  Gorillas in Gay Bars and Simions smokin’ weed on Haight – Ashbury.

The Rest:  Because there is no healthcare, eventually the virus wipes out the entire human population, with the exception of a special group that develops a tolerance, because they lack something in a normal brain structure.  Common sense.  So the only folks left are the Tea Baggers.  They can’t handle the pot smoking faggot apes, and blow up the earth.  (They are the Mutants!)  But Taylor, the head of the N.R.A,  wanting to spread his love for guns around the universe, before the explosion, takes off in a space ship.  Vuala!   “Planet of the Chumps?”



Beautiful Indian woman is really a Muslim.  She and What’s his Face have a baby girl.  Caesar and Cornelia have a baby boy.  The two kids fall in love, and run away to Hawaii, because no one will accept the interracial species marriage.  They have a kid they name Barack.  The Tea Baggers finally prove that our President is not White enough.  They impeach him and pray away all the fags, pot smokers, apes, and anyone that does not watch FOX News.   And they live happily ever after.  “IT’S A MAD HOUSE!”

I miss you Chuck.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Linda Chorney

All things that are CHORNEY

Linda Chorney Twitter

Linda Chorney Schedule

December 2018
« Jul    

%d bloggers like this: