14
May
14

OMG! Jon Stewart wants me on his show?!

Saturday afternoon I was hanging out at home, chilling before my performance in Tucson. I get a friend request from Jon Stewart. Yeah, right. The Jon Stewart? I clicked on Jon, and it went to what appeared to be an official Facebook page, where you could just “like” the page, which I believe I had liked over a year ago.

Wahhh.

This was the actual photo on the conversation, and when I clicked on it…it went to what looks like an official page.

 

 

And the photo of Jon corresponded to the same exact photo of him on the site, that is liked by 24k people. That’s not a lot for Jon….nevertheless, about an hour after accepting his friend request, I wrote a private message. It began with referring to whomever this was as Santa….because if this was really Jon Stewart, it would be a dream come true for me! I have watched all of his shows since day one. In my “Tea Bag Party People” video, I hold up a sign saying “I heart Jon Stewart”. He is in another video of mine when I interview Neil Degrasse Tyson, who has been a guest on his show, numerous times. I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out how I can get my book to him…I met him years ago in Austin on a movie set, where we were both filming different things. When I met Springsteen for the first time, my opening line to him was, “I am so jealous that you met Jon Stewart! He has presidents and world leaders on his show and maintains his cool, but when he had you on, he acted like a giddy school girl!” I’ve been in the audience on his show. I have his book…let’s just say I am a fan.

 

Ummm, is this really Santa?
17 minutes ago
yes it is me
Santa?! Am I your favorite Jew on your list!!??
Thank you for liking my page , Support you showered on me, I hope you never stop watching my movies and shows and reading my books…
ok. Prove it’s you. I met you in Texas on a film set….you were sitting with Bebe Neuwirth. What town were you in?
you tell me what town you met me ?
nope. not the right answer. Shoudn’t pull on my strings that way. Jon is my hero, Santa.
you don’t know the town you met me what a pity
I do. I’ve met Jon Stewart twice. But I have not met you. But thanks for makikng me think for a split second that just maybe this was legit. Peace. Have your people call my people.
what do you mean this is legit
duh. You are not Jon.
Gotta go. I have a date with Colbert now
i am jon
ok. What was the name of the Rabbi who circumsized you?
and what town do you live in the Shore?

Message cannot be sent based on either the receivers’ privacy settings or yours.

See you in Red Bank.

Message cannot be sent based on either the receivers’ privacy settings or yours.

Chat
I was obviously testing him to see if it was really him. After the circumcised statement, I was blocked. So, there are three possibilities.
1) The Daily Show has a staff that is reaching out to people who have liked the page, randomly.
2) I was actually speaking with Jon Stewart, who had nothing better to do, and he found my circumcision question offensive, or put his nose up, because I spelled it, and a few other words, incorrectly. (There should be a “z”in it…I hate spelling.)
3) It was some asshole, pretending to be Stewart.  (Perhaps Fox News strategizing to alienate his fans.)
If it’s number one, that is very lame, and most likely not the case. First of all, the page only has 24 thousand likes. Stewart should have millions.
Secondly, a marketing ploy to boost support for show and products? If that was the strategy….lame.
If it’s number two, well….it can’t be. Jon has a great sense of humor. So, I would think his responses would be more clever.
If it’s the third, you suck….pretending troll.
I think there should be some law that does not allow anyone to pretend they are just anyone on the internet. It’s out of control.
But I let it get to me! You know, that little part of you that hopes something is true. These hopes are what pariah prey upon. When people get things in the mail that are too good to be true, some dreamers go for it. They get swindled out of something by the lowlifes who take advantage of their naiveté.
But I. Let. It. Get. To. Me.
I was in a shitty mood after being blocked, (just in case it was really Jon, and I blew my big chance to get him my book…so he would have me on the show, because my story is just so awesome that he couldn’t resist.) And I actually took the energy to go over what I could have said instead…to test if it was really him, like, why are you writing me? (Like he knew about my videos, that I owned his book, rave about him all the time, etc.) Or, when is your documentary coming out? Or, what’s the name of the toy store where you hang out in Red Bank…with Bruce Springsteen? Or, how cool is Neil Degrasse Tyson?
I couldn’t snap out of it, and it affected my performance that night. I was mad at myself for not being able to just shake it off.
Then last night, I watched the show, but was slightly bitter, just in case it was his people…
Then this morning, I went back to our conversation on facebook, and all of his comments had been removed, and marked as spam. Being the pessimist that I am, I was glad I had taken a picture, and made a copy of my alleged conversation with my hero.
This message is no longer available because it was identified as abusive or marked as spam.
Anyway, Jon, the real Jon Stewart, if you happen to read this blog, I’m quite sure this douche bag was not you. And I hope you do reach out to me someday soon, so we can chat, and maybe you can read my book, and have me on your show.
TEA BAG PARTY PEOPLE
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON FOR PRESIDENT – LINDA CHORNEY’S DREAM 1  (My moronic interview with a genius)
Just in case you want more Neil….PART II…
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2 Responses to “OMG! Jon Stewart wants me on his show?!”


  1. May 14, 2014 at 7:30 AM

    I’m wondering if it wasn’t Sean Hannity wearing his official Megyn Kelley disguise (not sure he has the legs to make that skirt work), typing with his right hand (as he hates everything to do with The Left) as he waits for Ann Coulter to be kidnapped by that brand new cult, Baba O’Riley.

    Little does the Sean Meister know once they open the sack and see who they captured, they’ll make like The Ransom of Red Chief and drop her off in Fort Lee NJ at the MSNBC studios.

    I think you should cultivate Colbert (tell him ‘it’s pronounced Shaw-nay) and maybe end up being either his Paul Schaeffer or Andy Richter, in either case a foil to his aluminum, once he takes over at CBS.

    • May 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

      yah!


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Linda Chorney


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