06
Dec
15

ANXIETY OF RELEASING ALBUM!

I’m trying to talk myself off of this familiar ledge.

“Linda. You’ve been here before, 6 other times, questioning when your albums are ready to fly into the atmosphere for the world to hear.  People tell you, you’re the only one who can hear that one thing that wasn’t loud enough, or too loud. You’ve combed over every note for over a year! Let it go!” How neurotic is that?

Why am I clinching my jaw, even as I write this? I just want my new album; my latest child, to be the best it can be! My last album was nominated for a friggin’ Grammy! But I had an enormous budget for it, due to the generosity and kindess of Jonathan Schneider, aka, The Rock Doc. When you’ve got money, its easier to produce a stellar album. Duh. Its kind of like when you build a house. How do you build a mansion on the budget of a shack? I guess no granite counter tops…or hiring a symphony. If you have a fat budget, you can build the house of your dreams. And if your fireplace is off center, because you or someone else fucked up on the measurements, you can fix it, because you are rolling in the dough. But if you are out of cash…you have to live with it. How sucky is that?

So, no doctors this time. I had to write my own prescription, and pay for it, out of pocket. Does that mean I compromised on quality? Nope. I was so lucky to have the highest callabor musicians and engineers, and best studios on this album. Some were even generous enough to give me a very friendly rate, because they actually wanted to be on the album! How cool is that?

But besides the fact that first and foremost, I put the pressure on myself to deliver the same quality as Emotional Jukebox, I feel I will be put under a microscope by some rooting for me to fail. How dumb is that?

Well, I have to get it done this week. I have promised my “Patrons” to deliver in time for Christmas. Yes. My patrons. I was the original “kickstarter”. Everytime I put out an album, I include an insert in the booklet of my CDs, with a list of supporters, who pre-purchase a load of CDs…and get to say they are patrons of the arts! This year, I was fortunate enough to have a bunch! How awesome is that?

So now I don’t want to let them down, either. I want them to share my album with pride and enthusiasm. So it has to be great……. Is it?

Now I’ve got the artwork. The album cover. Is it good enough? Did I really put a photo of myself naked, at age 55, on the cover? Yup. That decision will help curb the anxiety.

Which brings me back to that ledge, and now my bare ass is hanging over the edge of it! Okay…okay…all of my naughty bits are where they should be…covered.

I just want all of the bits in my album to be where they should be.

Well, my jaw is still sore from clinching, and after expressing my crazy voice in my head trying to figure out if the album is ready to go, to quote a line from my title track, Oysters…

 

SHUCK IT ALL!

OYSTER FINAL COVER

 

Art Director, the incredible, talented Scott Fadynich!

 

The players:  (Thank you all!!)

Philip Anderson – electric bass

Oscar Autie – recording engineer, co-producer, mxing, percussion, background vocals, Everybutty guy.
Kenya Autie – background vocals
Evan Bausch – rhythm tracks

Kevin Bents – hammond, piano

Peter Booras – drums
Trevor Junior Brewis – drums
Nona Brown – background vocals
Andy Burton – vox, hammond, accordion, clavier, strings

Eduardo Corzo – piano, clarinet

Kiki Ebsen – organ, accordion, harpsichord, harp, melotron, piano
Dale Edwards – background vocals
Hunter Fadynich – background vocals
Scott Fadynich – background vocals
Heather Hardy – violin
MJ Lee – violin
Kevin Lucas – marimba, percussion
Jeff Oster – trumpet, flugelhorn
Rich Pagano -drums, percussion
Jack Petruzzelli – electric guitar, bass
Edward Roth – piano, hammond
Ron San Miguel – background vocals
David Sands – stand-up bass, electric bass, background vocals
Craig Schumacher – mixing engineer
Trevor Sewell – electric guitar, banjo, proper Englishman chat
Lisa Sniderman – ukelele, background vocals
Paul Speer – electric guitar
Glen Spreen – string arrangements
Angelo Tomandl – harmonica
Andy Zamenes – background vocals
OYSTER CHANTERS Drunkin crowd at Trevor Sewell’s shows – Northumbria University @ Newcastle, The Voodoo Cantina @ Darlington and The Burton House @ Burnopfield, Scott Fadynich, Ethan Sasz, Paul Chorney, Dolores Carl
STUDIOS:
El Cerrito Studio, El Cerrito, CA
WaveLab Recording Studio, Tucson, AZ
BONUS TRACKS
THE CANTINA
Philip Anderson – bass
Chris Burr – vihuela
Manny Celaya – violin
Angel Duran – classical guitar
Ramon Munoz – guitarron
Michael P. Nordberg – Electric Guitar Picker
Brian Phillips – percussion
Jesse Rojas – trumpet
MARTIN
Tommy Baker – bass, background vocals
Zach Biron – boy vocalist
Jeff Davison – hammond, background vocals
Alan Goodrich – drums
Alizon Lissance – accordion
Robert Jacobs, Elaina Vrattos Jacobs, Brook Meggs, Bedford Youth Performing Company
WHEN I SING
Arlan Feiles – keyboards, mix
Ed Roth – piano
Glen Spreen – string arrangements
Chris Tedesco – violin
Robert Xeno – recording engineer, co-producer

 

 

21
Nov
15

THE MAKING OF MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER – new music video

What a drag it is getting old?! That is an understatement.  I decided to cover Mother’s Little Helper on my album Emotional Jukebox, because, although I have a great deal of respect for Mick and Keith, I AM THE WOMAN IN THE FIRST PERSON feeling it! What does a 25 year old Mick Jagger know about getting old?!  I say, “Hah!”

But there is much more to the story, when it comes to the music video. I started filming as my mom was dying, a year ago…today. She was battling cancer, in and out of the hospital with pneumonia, which the doctors told us would eventually kill her. But she was hanging in there.

Then the heart attack came out of nowhere. Now she’s in ICU. (mid-Nov, 2014). But the doctors say she is going to pull through!! Dad and I were at the hospital every day, hanging with mom as she got stronger. They would take her for walks. We would spend at least 8 hours a day there. So I figured, what the hell, why don’t I take this opportunity to start filming Mother’s Little Helper? Mom would get a kick out of that. She was my biggest fan.

So I asked the nurse if she could get me one of those silly caps, and that plastic breathing mask. She hooked me up, and when mom was taking one of her walks, I jumped into her bed in ICU, and held the camera with one hand, as I filmed myself. Dad was in the room with me, giggling. We needed a little comic relief, I’ll tell you. (That was after I had jumped into an empty ambulance parked outside of the hospital! And roamed the halls with my camera, envisioning myself on a gurney being wheeled into ICU.)

I also envisioned a super hero come to save women with Valium! After all, the song is about Valium. Duh. That was all I had imagined for the video.

Then…my mother, put in rehab, for some fucked up reason, is diagnosed with…death. We bring her home from that excuse for a rehab facility, and hospice comes in. Now I need a valium.

We get her home on Thanksgiving Day. And she died sometime after midnight on that Sunday. We are coming up to the one year anniversary of losing Shirley Ruth Chorney, on December 1st. What a drag?

Afterwards, I went away with Scott for some much needed R&R. While visiting some friends, we discovered they lived with….hundreds of Galapagos Tortoises. My mom collected turtles made out of everything. Precious stones, ceramics, crystal, you name it. I asked if they would mind if I took some pictures with the tortoises. They said, sure! Then, I thought to myself, that very second, “Holy shit, what if I did some footage for Mother’s Little Helper with the tortoises?” Tortoises are the oldest living things on the planet, and mom loved them! My friends were kind enough to say, “Go for it!”

Scott shot, as I gently got to know these lovely creatures. They are remarkable.

Now all I have to do is fly through the air in my homemade super hero costume, with floating pills! How the heck do I do that? I call Harry Findysz, my great buddy who owns Southern Arizona Video Productions. He also filmed my music video, The Cantina.

I cut up a shirt, grabbed a bottle of Valium, and let the genius take over…(you will know I am being sarcastic, if you click on the vimeo link….) Here is an exclusive look behind the design factory, sunrise, morning of filming. https://vimeo.com/146508466

V WOMAN

I just finished editing last night, and here is the video. Dad saw it, and cried, because of the sad memories at the end of Mom’s life. I, for some reason, feel closer to her when I watch it, because she was alive in those scenes. But I also feel her pain, and am reminded of all of the pills she had to take for her cancer. I miss you, Mom. I wish you could have seen this music video. I can hear your laugh now. And my new album coming out, will be the first one you won’t hear. What a drag.

And lastly, I’m just sharing the shrine I made for my Mom, out of some of the turtles she collected. The silver piano on top of the shrine, which sits on top of the piano that my mom gave me, contains some of my mom’s ashes. I use some of the charms from a bracelet of hers, including an Egyptian queen, because she will always be our queen.

TURTLE SHRINE

 

P.S. Once again, it will be interesting to see how all of this time and effort and expense in putting together a new music video will pay off in anyway, other than a few thousand youtube hits. WHAT A DRAG.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

09
Oct
15

MAKE BULLETS 1000 DOLLARS EACH

Maybe we should outlaw tampons! They can kill, too.

Maybe we should outlaw tampons! They can kill, too.

This has to fucking stop. This country has to grow up! Really? An 11 year old got hold of his parents’ shotgun and blasted away a little 8 year old girl…because she wouldn’t let him pet her new puppy?!

The mental illness lame ass excuse is not valid. It is a lame ass excuse for those who like to jerk-off on their guns…or cook bacon on them. You guys are the ones with a mental problem.

There are solutions without taking your surrogate cocks away.

Here is my 4 point plan to save lives.

1) Make bullets $1000 each. Let the hunters go back to using bows and arrows. Have the balls to actually make it a challenge. The profits do not go to manufacturers. They go to tax and victims of families. Nut jobs won’t be able to buy the ammo.

2) A 6 month waiting period for a gun license while the GOVERNMENT does an extensive background check.

3) If a child gets hold of a gun, the person who owns the gun will have to give up their entire home and possessions to the family of the victim.

4) Anyone defending the bullshit argument that if it’s not a gun, it will be a hammer, car, knife, pen, ax, chain saw, or a tampon….can go fuck themselves. (Because most likely, no one else will.)

That’s it.

And for fuck sake, why is it okay to carry a gun, but you can’t carry a beer, in Arizona? Here’s a song I wrote to try and laugh, because it beats the alternative of tears.

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My condolences to all victims of BULLETS. Yes bullets kill, not the guns, or the people. BULLETS kill. And more condolences to those who need to compensate for their lack…with guns.

05
Oct
15

GUN. CONTROL. WE CAN DO BETTER, AMERICA

I really do believe the characteristics of Americans, not mental illness, is the root of the problem of failing to pass reasonable gun control laws.

I have come to the conclusion that many Americans are unreasonable, have a warped sense of entitlement, and have huge ego issues.

I can admit when I am wrong. I don’t like to be wrong, but I can be. And honestly, when I am, I don’t mind admitting it. “Oops. I guess I was wrong.” Live and learn…move forward, more educated.

As an experiment, I put up a post on facebook asking a question that only had one answer, but asked for a YES or NO answer.

Here is the question:

Can we all not agree on the black and white…no other answer, that IF a mass murdering SHOOTER did not have a GUN in his hand…shooting the bullets into the flesh of the victims…the victims would not be shot? This is not a trick question.
The answer choice is yes, or no. Period.

Well, dog gone it, if you could read the answers, it would take a while, because an unimpressive majority could not find a crack within their egos, to answer YES. Instead, I got the same old bullshit about cars killing…mental illness…bla, blah, blahhhhhh. (That last blahhhhh was the sound of me puking.) I even had one suggest that all teachers have guns in their desks!

I am sick to my stomach by the ugly attitudes of so many Americans. I want to hire an exorcist to rid them of their demons.

One person asked one of the ranters, “If by changing the gun laws, you could save one child, would you?” The answer was…”NO!” No? What a selfish asshole.

And that’s when we come back to the root of the problem. Too many selfish assholes in this country. “I want all of my guns. I love them. They protect me. And its my right with the second amendment.

Why the fuck have we not changed the second amendment? We change other laws. Actually, I don’t mind keeping it the same, if it means everyone can have a musket. Let’s see how brave, and how many deaths one asshole can cause with a musket.

Muskets for all!

Muskets for all!

I am all for hunters and hunting for FOOD. And if someone needs a handgun for self-defense, even that sounds reasonable. BUT NOT ASSAULT WEAPONS.

And if one has to take a course, and several months to get a driver’s license, why do they not to obtain a killing machine? Yes, cars, although they do cause accidents and death on occasion, are designed to get you from A to B, not to kill people.

Mental Illness? All countries have mental illness, but the countries without access to guns rarely have gun deaths caused by those with mental illness.

A good guy with a gun, is not going to stop a bad guy with a gun in most cases. He will cause more death in the confusion.

And bullets? Why not make them $1,000 dollars a piece? With ID on each one? Yes, it will cost money to put ID on each bullet…but that’s one reason why they will cost $1,000 bucks. (With ONLY the exception of hunting riffles that will have to be registered every year with a fee and renewable license. And a controlled amount of bullets for each owner. Yes, it will be a pain in the ass, just like the DMV. But that’s the law.)

Most of these mass shooters are not living the good life, and wouldn’t have the money to afford the bullets. Problem solved.

It is as simple as that.

Let’s compromise. Let’s do better.

And lets bring back those sexy outfits the Minute Men wore! And again, let me reiterate, everyone can have a musket! Having more guns is not going to cure you of being a minute man, anyway.

27
Sep
15

MARTIN RICHARD FOREVER AN ARTIST AND ACTIVIST; HIS MESSAGE LIVES ON

Saturday, September 26th, 2015 was an epic day to continue the quest for peace in our world. The message doesn’t get more direct or simple.

NO MORE HURTING PEOPLE.

That message resonated with me the first time I saw the iconic picture of Martin Richard holding up his sign. And of course I was also taken with the wise and innocent face of a little eight year old boy…as was the world.

Two years ago, I wrote a blog about a song I wrote in tribute of Martin Richard, in hopes to give the Richard family a little comfort. But also, because, if I hadn’t done anything, I would blow a circuit over the insanity that occured during the 2013 Boston Marathon.

In short, my hopes were to raise enough money with proceeds of downloads of my song, “Martin” to have a bronze statue erected of Martin. I called my friend, acclaimed portrait artist David Wells Roth, to ask him to recommend a sculptor. He said, Victoria Guerina is amazing!

While speaking with Victoria, I said, “It has to be a life size bronze figure of Martin holding his sign!” She got it, right away.

A couple of months later, this shows up in the mail…Martin-1

I called her and said, “That’s it!”

Well, the money from the downloads could barely cover a cover for a bronze statue. (In fact, I think I was dellusional believing that enough people still download to pay for music.) So I called David Wells Roth, again, and asked if he would be willing to paint a portrait for the family with the little funds I had raised. He said, he didn’t want anything. David’s sister was murdered at a young age, and he knew what that kind of loss was like. So he donated his time and talent and heart. (I insisted on paying for materials.) I was floored by his generosity.

Martin no frame

Then eighteen months later, I received a call from Bill Richard, the father of Martin. The feeling was beyond words when he told me that his family was not only touched by the song and David’s portrait, but he also loved the little model of Vicky’s sculpture.

Fast forward…Bridgewater State University is erecting the Martin Richard Institute for Social Justice. (Bill and Denise Richard graduated and met there.) The ceremony was held yesterday, and although the materials were covered for the bronze, Victoria spent five months completing the statue, gifting her time, talent and heart, as well. I am floored by her generosity.

HERE IS THE PORTION OF THE PROGRAM WITH VICTORIA AND ME.

And I am grateful for the honor of singing my song for the Richard Family at the ceremony. Their adorable daughter Jane, also sang in the St. Ann Choir.

Meeting the family

Meeting the family

The lovely Jane Richard

The lovely Jane Richard

And although the speeches by the President of Bridgewater State, Frederick Clark, Mayor Marty Walsh, Dr. Durgin Jr, Dr. Dana Mohler-Faria, and lastly and especially, the father of Martin, Bill Richard, were absolutely moving and inspiring, leaving not a dry eye in the house…I imagined what the ceremony would have been like without music; without the statue; without art.

And there in the epicenter of it all, was the precious statue of Martin Richard, holding up his…art! His masterpiece! NO MORE HURTING PEOPLE.

Photo by David M. Barron

Photo by David M. Barron

I had asked Bill Richard, before I spoke and performed, how the sign had come about. He told me it was created during a school class, where the teacher assigned the students to make a sign to hold, as they were going to a peaceful protest march for social justice. He thought it was during the time of Trayvon Martin’s death.

When I wrote the song, I wondered what Martin would have wanted to be when he grew up, a fireman or an astronaut? But now it is clear to me that he would have been an artist…and an activist, with his art. And he still is.

I cannot thank the Richard Family enough for including us to share our art. We feel so honored to be a part of this healing process and Martin’s important message.

I also had a brief conversation with President Frederick Clark, and was happy to learn that Bridgewater State University has great music and art programs. I also applaud their dedication of The Martin Richard Institute of Social Justice.

In conclusion, I am so proud of our collaboration between artists Victoria Guerina, David Wells Roth, and Martin Richard. And I dedicate this blog to all artists trying to make a difference. The world needs art. And art needs to be supported by the world.

photo by David M. Barron

photo by David M. Barron

And although all of the above is positive, and we do our best to better really bad situations…the bottom line is, an 8 year old boy was taken from this earth, and no statue will ever fill that hole in the hearts. I am so sorry for the loss of Martin Richard. But I am inspired by the strength of the Richard family, and Bill’s words at his speech…”be kind.”

Please spread Martin’s message all over the world. (The apple does not fall far from the tree.)

NO MORE HURTING PEOPLE.

“Martin”

To download “Martin”, click here.
And I’d also like to share my favorite picture of the day of Martin’s remarkable and brave sister, Jane.

photo by David M. Barron

ohoto by David M. Barron

05
Sep
15

THE OPENING ACT – OFFICIAL TRAILER

OPENING ACT COVER

05
Sep
15

THE OPENING ACT OFFICIAL TRAILER

For the past 16 months, I’ve been shooting my first documentary about…well, me, and the messed up music biz. (And recording a new album! Plug. Plug. Coming out this Winter. A perfect holiday gift!)

My goal is to show the average Joe what its like to be an Independent musician; dreaming of becoming a rock star, and how much time, effort, money, hustle, pulling favors; blood, sweat, and tears it takes to make music–via this movie, without boring the audience to tears.

OPENING ACT COVER

(Thanks to my cousin, Olivia Russin, for designing the poster. She also designed my book cover!)WHO THE F**K IS LINDA CHORNEY

SO, NOW WHAT?!

I submit it into film festivals and competitions, spending more money than I did making the film! Each one costs anywhere between $50 and $100 bucks a whack, just to enter. That sucks.

Only two of the competitions that I have submitted to so far, have announced their official selections. I’m 1 for 2.

And the one, IFA, I won for “Best Documentary!”

That was Tuesday. So I said, “Uh, oh. I’d better get a trailer done!” So I appropriately labored all week. Perfect timing for my debut for Labor Day Weekend!

Here is the trailer. (A challenge to cram 63 minutes into 2 and a half.)

Tada!

Because I am a competely Independent Artist, may I ask you to share the link with your friends, if you dig it? Grassroots, Baby!

I want to thank everyone who was essential in making this happen: (Yeah, save it for the Oscars…yeah, right.)

Scott Fadynich – Harry Findysz, Southern Arizona Video Productions
Evan Grea DavisRobin RussinMariachi Sol Azteca – The Musicians – Saloon Girls –
El Cerrito StudioLa Indita Ladies – James Lovin – Mike Williams – The Cowboys –
And WBZ’s Jordan Rich, for his golden voice overs in the Trailer.

And of course, Mom and Dad.

Also thanks to all of my FACEBOOK FRIENDS who helped me decide on the title. (Which Robin came up with.) Originally it was called, “Why Bother“. But he thought it was too cynical. Me cynical? No.

(The only reason it will cost more than making the film, is because I filmed 90% of it with my hand-held Sony HD Cam; edited, directed, and did all of the sound & music.) I don’t have to pay me.




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Linda Chorney


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