Now I get what the fuss is all about. Bottom line, shooting makes you feel like you have big balls, when you actually do not. And its fun to shoot targets…as long as they are not living things.
I went to my first shooting range yesterday, to educate myself about guns, and check out my skills. I discovered that I was a pretty good shot, actually. (She takes a bow.) As a sport, it’s pretty awesome. I shot a riffle, revolver, some sniper fancy ass weapon, and something like a glock that can quickly go bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang…so you don’t have to reload.
(Americana Sniper…get it? Umm-I was nominated for Americana Grammy. Knee slappah.)
Here is the deal. There is NO REASON, other than having one feel they have big balls to own these lethal weapons that can shoot a shitload of bullets quickly. But I feel there are many reasons that are reasonable for those who wish to own a few types of guns…well 2 types.
MY GUN LAWS
- No one should be able to just go into a store and purchase a gun just like that. (I could have bought one in a matter of 3 minutes after filling out paperwork, and I’m crazy! But I did not.) It should take as much time as it does to get a driver’s license. What would that entail?
- The test one would need to obtain a license would require a 1 hour training session. Yes, it’s not rocket science, you learn how to hold it, where the safety is, how to line up the little square just right, shoot after you exhale so you are still; and of course, not have shaky hands. Then there would be an extensive background check to see if you are a nut job or not…or have any anger issues. (So that would rule out most men.) And of course if you are affiliated with any terror organizations, like those iceholes, or the church…you’re out.
- No way should anyone be allowed to purchase firearms over the internet or by mail or immediately. And at a gun show, unless they can prove they have this license I described in #2, no go. Also the amount of guns manufactured in US need to be controlled and regulated by our government…and HUGELY TAXED.
- Anyone using the “Second Amendment” as an argument to own any gun they wish, should be bitch slapped across their tiny balls several times, almost like little punching bags.
- The only guns anyone should be able to own would be something similar to a revolver for self-defense, or a shotgun for humane hunting. What is humane hunting? When you are hunting the animal to eat it. Or when there is an over-population of pesty animals damaging your property…making huge holes in the ground, causing your horses to break their legs. Hunting should not be to prove your tiny balls can line up the little square and shoot a stunning, rare creature to put on your wall.
- MAKE BULLETS VERY EXPENSIVE, unless they are used for hunting. (see below.)
So here comes the whiny bitch Second Amendment small balled arguers. “But I am responsible. I like guns. It says that a well-regulated militia…It’s my right…blah, blah, balls.” I get it. Well, I think I can drive after a couple of glasses of wine just fine, but I’m not allowed to because other morons cannot control their alcohol. So I have to sacrifice a little for the greater good and safety of our fellow humans. And it was really fun shooting those targets. But these guns are not toys. They are lethal weapons designed to KILL…period. Even though they can be used to perhaps mix your BBQ sauce, or displayed in your home to impress your other small balled buddies. And for those of you with cool weapons handed down from your family from various wars that killed a bunch of people…nothing wrong with that, as long as there are no bullets for them. No reason to give them up.
So you enjoy shooting as a sport? (which I did, indeed.) The GOVERNMENT could approve and regulate controlled shooting ranges, where you could shoot some of these toys. It is unreasonable to imagine one going out into the wilderness with these guns with tons of bullets in one clip…magazines…whatever the fuck you call them.
The glock thingy, which had many bullets, was harder to shoot, because of the kick back, so accuracy is an issue. But that big ass sniper riffle? It has a giant zoom on it, so as long as you can line that up and stay still, you can shoot a target far away. Again, not rocket science. Nothing super bad ass about it. But you do feel bad ass when you hit your target. (A far away orange rock in my case.)
And OMG! Some of these triggers are very sensitive. You could squeeze a fart on one and it would go off. I can just see why so many kids get hold of one, where the irresponsible parent did not engage the safety, or unload the gun, and BANG. Dead kid…or parent…or neighbor.
So what is the solution? If anyone wants to own a gun for defending their home…they have to take that chance of having it put in the wrong hands. I’m not sure what the statistics are for that happening…but one should not need anything more than a revolver to feel secure in their home…or I guess “Carrying” in your car or wherever. To me it still makes sense for no one to have the guns, so no one would need to defend themselves against other guns being pulled on them. But it’s too late for that. And if someone does invade your home, if the safety is on, and the bullets are not loaded, because you have kids…you are pretty screwed, unless you have a system.
Any responsible, reasonable gun owner without having to prove how big their balls are, should be able to understand and agree to restricting the types of guns one can own.
And here comes the obvious bullet solution. If someone wants to go hunting, they should have to prove they are hunting. And they should only be able to purchase a handful of bullets from The Government. (And all hunting bullet profits go to preserving wildlife.) Because if your shooting is that sucky, you shouldn’t be allowed to hunt. Twenty years ago I shot for the first time, a 44, at an indoor range with a cop. I was a natural, (she says in all humility). I shoot pool, I was an archer in summer camp. I enjoy hand-eye coordinated sports. It is a skill. I did it only that once, until yesterday…and it was pretty easy…as long as you can, as I mentioned, line up the little square, and stay still to be accurate. And as far as for your personal handgun for self-defense, THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA should actually be the only arms and ammo dealers in our country. Yup. I am not paranoid enough to believe US Citizens will have to defend themselves against our own government…(Unless Trump wins.) Then I’ll just shoot myself. Which brings me to suicide. According to NY TIMES, 60% of gun deaths are caused by suicide. That does not excuse or justify the other 40%. But it does take me to a completely off topic point. Assisted suicide should not just be in Oregon. It should be for the entire country…world. It’s not just for breakfast anymore!
Back to bullets. For those with their “self-defense” 6 shooters, each bullet should be $1000 dollars, paid to the government. And because they would be so expensive, there would be opportunity for the government to actually number these bullets, to identify from which owner they came. Much easier to solve murder mysteries! If you need to use one of those bullets to defend your life…it is money well spent. (And it would be a tax deductable.) Imagine all of those robbing convenient stores, and hold-ups on the street…what are the chances they will clear more than $1000 bucks? So why would they bother? The only reason the NRA defends guns, is because its big money. Let’s take the money from bullets and guns to be used for victims of gun violence. The government regulated shooting ranges would get the bullets for less, and they would be controlled.
And just when you think one’s balls could not get any smaller…save the “If not a gun, an ax, car, waffle maker” speech. It’s dumb.
Also, just because you have served in the military, and are an expert, does not give you a free pass to own firearms, either, once back in civilian life.
And if these restrictions cramp your lifestyle? Get a life!
I have friends who have actually been shot, and they still believe that U.S. Citizens should be able to own a gun…WITH reasonable gun laws. We are far from that. It really is quite an easy solution. The problem is we are being cock-blocked by the cockless, selfish, twisted, corrupt and greedy, manipulative scumbags. (Many of which are within our government!)
That’s all folks…
Now if you care to enjoy my day at the range…I have made a short film.