For those of you who know, love and respect Jon Stewart’s work, there is no explanation for the title of this blog. For those of you who have been brainwashed and have no clue how brilliant he is – your loss.
Fuck the farm animals! Not literally…and not even figuratively – just get someone else to look after them. We need you back! You left us at the worst possible time! Yes, you have a responsibility to I’d say, half of America. You spoke for us. You kept us sane. Sure there are others, Colbert, Oliver, Maher, and Noah, but to kind of quote Carly Simon, “Noahbody does it better.” Okay, literally it is not your responsibility, but in this case it kind of is. Yes, you have a life. But your calling is not to farm animals, it’s to the human animals. Please, please come back!
I saw you on Stephen Colbert last night, and you are like a drug. I got my fix, and now I’m hooked again, wanting more! I’m Jonesing for Jon! I tried to ween myself off of you, safely, by not deleting your shows from my DVR recordings…but I just can’t quit you, boy.
Is it that you wanted to make a difference, and you got frustrated with the fact that facts don’t matter anymore? Did you make a difference when you fought for the First Responders in Washington, up against the hypocritical full of shit Yellow Blooded American representatives? — The GOP? Well I can promise you that you make a difference with us.
Jon Stewart, America’s Majority NEEDS YOU BACK.
P.S. One time I got a friend request from you on Facebook, and I didn’t believe it was you…and it probably wasn’t. I got so excited, and wanted to send you my book. I met you on set in Austin, at craft services, with Bebe Neuwirth, during the filming of Office Space. (I think we were both mooching a free meal.) And then went on your show (in the audience) and asked you if you remembered me. (yes, dumb question that was supposed to be funny…and I did get a laugh). I left my Grammy Nominated (puff puff) CD with one of the staff for you. Not sure if you ever got it. And then I just missed you in Red Bank a couple of times…and lastly, when I met Bruce Springsteen for the first time, you know what my first words were to him? “I’m so jealous you got to meet Jon Stewart.” He laughed. We should all hang sometime. (Now everyone is laughing.) I am not a stalker. I just admire the shit out of you.