I’m trying to talk myself off of this familiar ledge.
“Linda. You’ve been here before, 6 other times, questioning when your albums are ready to fly into the atmosphere for the world to hear. People tell you, you’re the only one who can hear that one thing that wasn’t loud enough, or too loud. You’ve combed over every note for over a year! Let it go!” How neurotic is that?
Why am I clinching my jaw, even as I write this? I just want my new album; my latest child, to be the best it can be! My last album was nominated for a friggin’ Grammy! But I had an enormous budget for it, due to the generosity and kindess of Jonathan Schneider, aka, The Rock Doc. When you’ve got money, its easier to produce a stellar album. Duh. Its kind of like when you build a house. How do you build a mansion on the budget of a shack? I guess no granite counter tops…or hiring a symphony. If you have a fat budget, you can build the house of your dreams. And if your fireplace is off center, because you or someone else fucked up on the measurements, you can fix it, because you are rolling in the dough. But if you are out of cash…you have to live with it. How sucky is that?
So, no doctors this time. I had to write my own prescription, and pay for it, out of pocket. Does that mean I compromised on quality? Nope. I was so lucky to have the highest callabor musicians and engineers, and best studios on this album. Some were even generous enough to give me a very friendly rate, because they actually wanted to be on the album! How cool is that?
But besides the fact that first and foremost, I put the pressure on myself to deliver the same quality as Emotional Jukebox, I feel I will be put under a microscope by some rooting for me to fail. How dumb is that?
Well, I have to get it done this week. I have promised my “Patrons” to deliver in time for Christmas. Yes. My patrons. I was the original “kickstarter”. Everytime I put out an album, I include an insert in the booklet of my CDs, with a list of supporters, who pre-purchase a load of CDs…and get to say they are patrons of the arts! This year, I was fortunate enough to have a bunch! How awesome is that?
So now I don’t want to let them down, either. I want them to share my album with pride and enthusiasm. So it has to be great……. Is it?
Now I’ve got the artwork. The album cover. Is it good enough? Did I really put a photo of myself naked, at age 55, on the cover? Yup. That decision will help curb the anxiety.
Which brings me back to that ledge, and now my bare ass is hanging over the edge of it! Okay…okay…all of my naughty bits are where they should be…covered.
I just want all of the bits in my album to be where they should be.
Well, my jaw is still sore from clinching, and after expressing my crazy voice in my head trying to figure out if the album is ready to go, to quote a line from my title track, Oysters…
SHUCK IT ALL!
Art Director, the incredible, talented Scott Fadynich!
The players: (Thank you all!!)
Philip Anderson – electric bass
Kevin Bents – hammond, piano
Eduardo Corzo – piano, clarinet