28
Feb
14

COSTCO lamb shanks serve seeex…six what?

Oh no! I’ve temporarily lost my Costco buzz!

I have bought these deeelicious lamb shanks at Costco a few times, but never paid much attention to how many it serves. There’s 2 lamb shanks. I just assumed that meant 2 servings…in America. 

Scott and I had them again for dinner last night. And I don’t know why I looked this time, but I found on the package that it allegedly serves 6! 6 what? Starving Somalians? I felt like a pig. I ate three servings?!

Oink in camouflage.

Mrs. Oink in camouflage.

That would mean three people would share one measly lamb shank!? Hah! Perhaps in some fancy French, overpriced petite plate restaurant they might ration a morsel on a piece of parsley. Hey! Maybe this product is made in France…I already tossed the package. Dare I search the trash for the greater good of this blog?  Yes! (Stand-by..going out to garbage.)

Plan B?

Plan B? (Yup, I’m barefoot…empathy for my friends in the East Coast this cold February!)

Okay…let me google Costco lamb shanks. There is no way I am going through the tree branches that Scott picked up yesterday. Yes, we do our own landscaping…well, Scott works, I write stupid blogs.

I found the name of the company…

Sous Vide

Sounds fucking French to me!

I can’t find out where they are actually made, but they include: “Meet Chef Scientist Bruno Goussault” Okay. Their chef is a French scientist? How about a friggin’ mathematician to calculate the servings? Blaise Pascal? Oh! Maybe they converted the servings from Farenheit to Celsius, and it’s really less servings?

Zee Lamb Shank, she is tre grande! American peegs.

I was also fooled by the calories and the fat when first purchased. Yikes! With a quick glimpse, I assumed the shank only had 90 calories of fat from the 160 total. Not too bad. Maybe I’ll eat two!

90 Calories from fat - 160 Calories per serving

90 Calories from fat – 160 Calories per serving

Not so fast….

The truth is, 270 calories from fat and almost 480 calories each. Oink.

Now, there is something so seductive about Costco when you enter. You get this je ne sais quoi feeling. A feeling best described as, I came in for a couple of things, but I’m going to end up buying a bunch of shit and drop 300 bucks…

Oh! This foot massager is only 40, and honey, do we need more storage containers? How about another Blue Ray Movie? Or another case of friggin’ granola bars, or popcorn, that we haven’t finished in 2 years? Ooh! How about another really soft blanket to throw on the couch, that I can use watching that 65 inch flat screen, while I’m in a food coma!

I think Costco pipes in some sort of drug in the air ducts, that makes you feel euphoric and have the munchies. They even provide the snacks! And the people are so nice there. And you can return ANYTHING!

I bought a Blue Ray DVD player that was a bit temperamental, but I was too lazy to return it, and it shit the bed after a couple of years. They took it back, and gave me 100% refund. (I can buy enough lamb shank “servings” to feed all of Ethiopia with that moolah!)

A guy in the wine department told me that a lady once returned an empty bottle of wine. She said it gave her a headache. They refunded her, too!

I cannot imagine a Costco in France! “Zerrr is nussing rrrong wiz zat cheeeken! You cannot have your money back. Go away. I must take a cigarette break now, you swine!”

Well, I’m not going to return the lamb shank bones, complaining about the portion size here in the U.S.

Mr. Oink

Mr. Oink

But I wish these food companies would be a bit less deceiving when it comes to calories & realistic serving sizes. That’s no fault of Costco’s. And the lamb is still a bargain for 2 at about 14 bucks.

Shanks a lot!

P.S. There is nothing funny about starving people. (Was using comedic licence, that I bought at Costco.)

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Linda Chorney


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