We all know what grande means…big. But what the fuck is the significance of venti on the menu at Starbucks? I know it’s twenty in Italian…and I imagine the price of a stupid cup of coffee at Starbucks in Vail will soon enough cost 20 bucks, (as the highest cost Starbucks on earth), but why venti? Ohhhhh. It means 20 ounces.
Well I was soooo excited to get something for free in Vail! So. Excited.
First of all, skiing is exclusively for the rich…or the resourceful. I am the latter. Here is a breakdown of what it costs to ski in Vail. (And I can hear some of you in an elitist, condescending tone, thinking, “Well, if you can’t afford it, don’t do it.”. And my response in a non-elitist, ski bum, matter of factual, with a smile, tone is, “Fuck you.”)
I love to ski. As long as I am not freezing my ass off. It’s always a gamble when you make your reservations. Will there be lots of snow? Will there be that famous, glorious bluebird sky? Will the crowds / lift line, be unbearable?
I have time to write this blog today, because it’s below zero! I’m hoping it warms up to at least 10, before I hit the slopes. Yesterday my toes were frozen, and I had to go inside after skiing for 90 minutes. Fortunately, I bought the “Epic Pass”. For the resourceful, this is one huge factor to be able to afford to ski.
Vail Resorts owns a bunch of mountains. On this pass, that you buy the summer before the season, for around 679 dollars, you can ski UNLIMITED days, with no blackout days at all of their mountains! THAT IS A DEAL. If you live near one of the mountains, it’s a steal. If you don’t, you still have to invest in getting and staying there, as well.
Because of the weather, it’s best to rent an SUV. That will run you, with taxes, easily 80 bucks per day. If you shop around, sometimes you can find one, if you are really resourceful, for 40 bucks. (Like FOX rental cars in Denver…although their operation is less than efficient. On our way up to Vail a few days ago, during a treacherous snow storm, passing multiple car accidents, we discovered that our windshield wiper fluid thingamahoozie, didn’t work! We figured it was empty. Pulled over, popped the hood, and it was full. But the pump didn’t work. Called their “Roadside assistance”…and we were not assisted. “Bring it back and get another vehicle.” Yeah sure, we had time for that. Not.
Moving on…so, for a week, you are looking at around 500 bucks, if you “get a deal” for a necessary SUV. You can take the shuttle, which will cost 2 people 372 dollars round trip. And of course you have to tip the driver, so that’s another 10 bucks, each way…(considered a chintzy tip, I am sure.)
But resourceful people have friends with places to crash. And then you need a car for sure, unless your friends are rich bastards that live at the mountain. And of course, bring a really nice gift. (Another 100)
If you don’t have friends at the mountain, the resourceful folks can find a hotel for 150 a night, maybe…off season, in a dive, or way off of campus.
The rich folks drop anywhere from 400-600 a night, on average.
The middle-class folks might be able to find reasonable accommodations for 200-300 a night, if they plan way in advance.
Ooh! Wait! I just found a “special deal” on hotels.com!
average nightly rate
average nightly rate
I almost had a meltdown, but I was too cold.
But now I am warm enough to vent-i to Starbucks in Lionshead, my non-elitist, ski bum, matter of factual, with a smile, Grande “Fuck you.”
CHECK OUT PART II – Starbucks of Vail, the Final Episode!