05
Feb
14

Starbucks of Vail, Colorado is Grande Greedy & I need to Vent-i

We all know what grande means…big. But what the fuck is the significance of venti on the menu at Starbucks? I know it’s twenty in Italian…and I imagine the price of a stupid cup of coffee at Starbucks in Vail will soon enough cost 20 bucks, (as the highest cost Starbucks on earth), but why venti? Ohhhhh. It means 20 ounces.

6.45 for a Venti Chai Latte! (including tax.)

6.45 for a Venti Chai Latte! (including tax.)

Well I was soooo excited to get something for free in Vail! So. Excited.

First of all, skiing is exclusively for the rich…or the resourceful. I am the latter. Here is a breakdown of what it costs to ski in Vail. (And I can hear some of you in an elitist, condescending tone, thinking, “Well, if you can’t afford it, don’t do it.”. And my response in a non-elitist, ski bum, matter of factual, with a smile, tone is, “Fuck you.”)

I love to ski. As long as I am not freezing my ass off. It’s always a gamble when you make your reservations. Will there be lots of snow? Will there be that famous, glorious bluebird sky? Will the crowds / lift line, be unbearable?

I have time to write this blog today, because it’s below zero! I’m hoping it warms up to at least 10, before I hit the slopes. Yesterday my toes were frozen, and I had to go inside after skiing for 90 minutes. Fortunately, I bought the “Epic Pass”. For the resourceful, this is one huge factor to be able to afford to ski.

Outside our crashpad in Silverthorne at 9 am...

Outside our crashpad in Silverthorne at 9 am…

Vail Resorts owns a bunch of mountains. On this pass, that you buy the summer before the season, for around 679 dollars, you can ski UNLIMITED days, with no blackout days at all of their mountains! THAT IS A DEAL. If you live near one of the mountains, it’s a steal. If you don’t, you still have to invest in getting and staying there, as well.

Because of the weather, it’s best to rent an SUV. That will run you, with taxes, easily 80 bucks per day. If you shop around, sometimes you can find one, if you are really resourceful, for 40 bucks. (Like FOX rental cars in Denver…although their operation is less than efficient. On our way up to Vail a few days ago, during a treacherous snow storm, passing multiple car accidents, we discovered that our windshield wiper fluid thingamahoozie, didn’t work! We figured it was empty. Pulled over, popped the hood, and it was full. But the pump didn’t work. Called their “Roadside assistance”…and we were not assisted. “Bring it back and get another vehicle.” Yeah sure, we had time for that. Not.

Moving on…so, for a week, you are looking at around 500 bucks, if you “get a deal” for a necessary SUV. You can take the shuttle, which will cost 2 people 372 dollars round trip. And of course you have to tip the driver, so that’s another 10 bucks, each way…(considered a chintzy tip, I am sure.)

But resourceful people have friends with places to crash. And then you need a car for sure, unless your friends are rich bastards that live at the mountain. And of course, bring a really nice gift. (Another 100)

If you don’t have friends at the mountain, the resourceful folks can find a hotel for 150 a night, maybe…off season, in a dive, or way off of campus.

The rich folks drop anywhere from 400-600 a night, on average.

The middle-class folks might be able to find reasonable accommodations for 200-300 a night, if they plan way in advance.

Ooh! Wait! I just found a “special deal” on hotels.com!

Vail Resorts’ Legendary Lodging at Ritz-Carlton Residences

728 West Lionshead Circle Vail, CO, 81657 United States, ‎1-866-538-9298‎

Special deal
$2,528 $1,835

average nightly rate

Vail Resorts' Legendary Lodging at Ritz-Carlton Residences
Or how about this one!?

The Arrabelle at Vail Square, A RockResort

675 Lionshead Place Vail, CO, 81657 United States, ‎1-866-539-5067‎
The Arrabelle at Vail Square, A RockResort
Special deal
$3,000 $2,143

average nightly rate

1 room leftSelect
This would be for the really rich bastards….(yes, I am jealous).
And these folks wouldn’t be bitching about Starbucks right now. They’d be soaking in the hot tub or having a massage for 200 dollars, after a 50 dollar breakfast.
We are having oatmeal, which I brought with me.
But lunch on the mountain, easily costs 20 bucks a head….for a bowl of soup and a drink…I kid you not.  (The VERY resourceful bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) I’m not that resourceful. (And I hate peanut butter!)
And parking costs 25 dollars per day in the public structure. And if you actually had to buy your lift ticket, add another $129/day/person.
But for 2 people, not including airfare, it is easily 500 dollars per day to go up and down the greatest mountain a bunch of times.
So you’d better get your money’s worth on your lift ticket, and do as many runs as you can! If you make 10 runs, that’s 12.90 dollars a run! But if you make 20 runs, it’s a bargain!
But if it’s below zero, and you are freezing your toes off, and you have to get a hot drink, after only 4 runs, that’s 32 bucks a run!
Which brings us back to Starbucks…
Scott is addicted to espresso. I don’t drink coffee..because I am speedy enough as it is, and I prefer my brain to shut the fuck up. (can you tell?)
But we took our resourceful asses to Starbucks, so excited to cash in on Scott’s Birthday Starbuck’s ap’s most generous FREE drink of any size!!!!
Yay!!!
Seriously, I cannot tell you how excited I was to not have to pay 6 dollars for a drink, after resourcefully, still dropping 200 dollars a day.
We whipped out the ap, all smiles to save 6 dollars, and….
“We don’t take those aps here. We are privately owned.”

WHAT?!!!

I almost had a meltdown, but I was too cold.

But now I am warm enough to vent-i to Starbucks in Lionshead, my non-elitist, ski bum, matter of factual, with a smile, Grande “Fuck you.”

CHECK OUT PART II – Starbucks of Vail, the Final Episode!


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5 Responses to “Starbucks of Vail, Colorado is Grande Greedy & I need to Vent-i”


  1. February 5, 2014 at 10:13 AM

    Good comments, Linda. Vail is a nice mountain. I’ve never rented those expensive places in the village. We rent a house in East Vail, the cheapest area, and like you rent an SUV, the biggest one there is. With 6 people in it, we avoid the slow shuttle, park at the village and each day one person pays the $25 parking (maybe it’s gone up). We stop at a Costco on the way in, load up on groceries and cook in most nights. We slice up leftovers for sandwiches and put them in zip lock bags in our pockets, for lunch. This way you only have to buy a drink, or maybe just soup. We are from NJ. Frank

    • February 5, 2014 at 7:29 PM

      Frank, you get an A in resourcefullness! Congrats and ski carefully… And load up that SUV to see me play at Vail Ale House Thursday at 10 pm, if you are still up. The drinks there are not a rip-off! (On the other side of i70 in West Vail)

      • February 10, 2014 at 2:49 PM

        Thanks, I wish I was there, we took this year off from Vail. Maybe next year :). I will be at Snowmass early next month and Park City at end of March.

  2. February 5, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    Why do you think I’m a Dunkin’ Donuts kinda girl….except I hate it when they use styrofoam cups that take a billion years to disintegrate. Lol. Your rendition of Vail is spot on. My experience has not been in the US but abroad in the Austrian Alps. I wound up finding out that I hated skiing after getting all geared up. I’m more of an ice skater and perhaps cross country. It’s expensive. Need to try going back up to New Hampshire.

    • February 5, 2014 at 7:27 PM

      Dear Duncin Donut girl. You are funny. And New Hampshire is wa-a-a-ay too cold! That’s where I learned to ski. Have a cruller for me.


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Linda Chorney


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