Finding the person to make my movie is as random as snorkeling in the ocean and bumping into Moby Dick. Of course, if I have some super duper special tracking device, kind of like a drone, (except my objective is not to kill this person), it at least can tell me which sea to swim in.

Last night I was in the right sea, and I found Moby. And I’m hoping he is not a dick!

I went to a fancy-shmancy event to support music in Monmouth County, NJ…one of the richest counties on the planet. I knew there was going to be a movie business mogul there. I had my book with me, because 5 people told me he would be there, (and they sort of knew him) and I could be introduced.

Challenge number one. He was on the other side of the ropes with the rich bastards. The side that paid big bucks to go to the soirée. For the past 4 years, Scott and I attended, as contributors to the joint. For most of the folks on this A list, it’s just another night out on the town. For us it is a good chunk of change, but we like supporting the arts. After Superstorm Sandy, we had to cut back on luxuries, like blowing a grand to hobnob. (Whip out your violins.)

The party began before the show, and continued afterwards. I know we could have slipped in before, but we just didn’t. I felt kind of stupid crashing. I stared into the room seeing the usual suspects, and longed to say hellos. But I didn’t feel deprived. I’d been on the other side before. It’s fun.  But for those of you who have not been privy,  you’re not missing out on much.

The one copy of the book that I had with me, I ended up giving to another friend who’s mom is another shark in that sea, but not the big one…yet.

After the show, we ran into friends opting out of the after party. They gave us their laminated passes. We were in. I’m sure some guests knew we didn’t cough up the dough this year for the tickets. (How gauche) I didn’t feel guilty, as historically we have given quite a bit to this establishment. And I also sang for free for them last year. So now, let’s find that fish!

When I got there, these five friends that allegedly knew the fish, did not. The first person pointed him out….and it wasn’t even Moby!

So, now I can’t just be casually introduced to throw out my lure, I have to cast it myself, like a fly fisherman. Damn it!

Well, finally someone knew what the big fish looked like, and I spotted him.

That's me on the right without my book.

That’s me on the right without my book.

What should I say to break the ice? Should I say something funny right off the bat? What if he doesn’t think it’s funny? Should I just introduce myself? He probably get’s bugged by everyone. I don’t want to seem like one of those desperate fishermen!

(Okay enough with the fishing analogies, Melville.)

I thought about saying, “How many assholes have approached you tonight to pitch a film?”  If he says none  – I could follow it up with, “Well, I guess that makes me the first.” If he says 3, I could present myself as asshole number 4.

Instead, I was a douche.

“Umm, excuse me, you’re Moby, right?” Yes.

“A few people told me you are the one to speak to about making a movie…I know this isn’t the right time, and I’m sorry for bringing up business, but I’d like to have ten minutes of your time to tell my story next week. I was nominated for a Grammy and wrote a book. I live in Arizona, but I’m here this week. I had a book for you, but someone snagged it.”

(By the way, I felt so stupid having my book with me in the first place.)

He was quite pleasant, and asked, “Do you know so and so?”

I did not.  I’m guessing that was someone he used for reading his scripts and books?

Then he paused, and said, “well, let me give you my email address.” And he did. I punched it into my iphone. I didn’t know if I should just text it to myself, or send the email. I went for my email app and put his name in as the recipient.

Then I said thanks, and apologized again for talking shop.

(That’s why I feel doucheee. If you seem too wimpy and nice, he will probably think I am a douche.)

After we walked away from each other, I tried to copy and paste his email address. But when I put my finger on to copy, it wouldn’t!

Damn it!

“Excuse me. Do you have a pen I could borrow?”

I asked about three people, who all said, no, whilst I panicked because my battery was about to die.

My email was all set up to be sent to him, address in the “To” area. But I wasn’t about to write him an email without thinking about it right away.  Don’t die on me iphone!!!

I finally found someone with a pen, and scribbled down his address in the nick of time! Then I texted it to myself as well, just in case I lost the piece of paper.

I got home and wrote him last night. I said he was my third act!! And by coincidence, the local paper, “The Two River Times” had a book review on me this week, (which I still haven’t read, but I am assuming is good) so I added that he might want to check that out, along with my TED presentation. Putting in parenthesis, (I assume you know what TED is.) And I hit send.

Woke up at 6 am, wondering if I said, “I’m sorry” too many times…will he respond? And then I wrote this blog so I wouldn’t drive myself crazy.


1 Response to “WILL THE BIG ONE GET AWAY?”

  1. June 15, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    Aloha Linda, As I read your blogs now for six months I am seeing your writing is much better. Not that is was bad, just for dummies like me, no I am not a dummy, the dumb lupus brain. You are very clear and not jumping all over telling your story. I do feel inside, with all the interviews I read and heard. You are much more clearer to get your interest out to the readers and listeners. Keep going strong, take care of that voice. It did sound yesterday, that it is over used. Aloha, and go get Moby. I am sure you will do it.

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Linda Chorney

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