7:20 a.m. PST My heart is pounding.

My fingers are actually slightly shaky as I type this morning.  I did get a good night’s sleep, only because I am so exhausted from this week’s activities.  Ya know the saying, “If there could be more than 24 hours in a day, I sure could…..”

Screw that!  These last two months have gone by like a turtle dragging a piano.

The moment I opened my eyes this morning, the old noggin started racing through a million thoughts.

I am trying to breath.

I have had a blast!  And the blast will continue after today.  Nothing has really changed.  I am still me.  (Although more of a basket case.)

My music is my music.  I am very proud of my album, “Emotional Jukebox”.  And once again, I am humbled by the kindness, support, and enthusiasm that has surrounded this passion project.

Oh shit.  I am starting to cry.  Overwhelming tears of joy, and wonder.  Wondering how I could have gotten so lucky that one man, Dr. Jonathan Schneider, was so kind, that he paid for me to record this album, wanting NOTHING in return.  He believed in me and my music.

There has got to be some kind of reward for this.  (If I win, I will give him the nominee prize….)

I got my Tiffany medallion last night.  It’s gold, kind of like an Olympic Medallion, placed on a light gold satin ribbon.  It was given to me and all of the other nominees.  I almost felt as if I was being crowned.  It was a very special moment for me in my life.

Not that I am anything but honest, but I have a confession to make.

Although I have put up a pretty good front on the bullying, and made jokes about it….(what else can you do?  Shoot yourself?)

What else can you do?  You take it like a woman.  But inside of me, there certainly has been hurt and even anger.

Hurt because I did pay my dues.  I did not game the system, of which I was accused of by those desperate to discredit my nomination, just because I am a nobody, and a nobody that nobody would profit from in certain circles.  Angry because my child was being insulted.

The shear audacity of the writer from the Wall Street Journal saying my album was “Amatuerish”?  It made me shake my head.

I will make clear, that anyone can say my album sucked.  But it will never change the fact that it does not.  It is a great album, with the best players in the world on it.  So anyone who makes a blatant statement like that, pointed at not only me, but the world-class Musicians, many of whom sport Grammy Trophies on their mantals, is just plain ignorant.

I’ve done the Emily Post thing during this entire process, (for the most part)…(I wouldn’t consider myself the poster child for educate), But now, without the facade of a public figure, being this perfect human being that is muzzled to voice the honesty, I have 2 things to say to the naysayers. One is, “Thank you.” And the other is “Fuck you”.    (Thanks, because you have given me tons of press…and the latter, you can figure out for yourselves.)

Okay, now that that is over with, let’s move on to most awesome things!!!!!

I want to thank everyone throughout my career who has believed in me.  Starting with Mom and Dad.  I love you.  You have always been so supportive of my music.  When I wanted to quit my real job when I was 20, to pursue music, you stood by me.  You paid for my demo tapes.  You came to my shows.

Next, my better 3/4’s, Scott Fadynich, who was a fan, and slowly stalked me and eventually kidnapped me to New Jersey, pushing me to keep going with my career.  I had pretty much had it.  Discouraged that I had not yet achieved my goal of recognition on a larger scale.  Signing me up to be a Grammy Member after the album was finished.  Believing in the music so much that he thought it should be submitted for consideration.

Before the nomination, I sometimes got depressed when I went to a big show.  It actually hurt.  I felt that I was good enough to be on that big stage, instead of stuck in a corner of a bar.  I was tired of hearing folks say, “What are you doing playing here? You should be at Madison Square Garden”.

I was tired of hearing folks come up to me during my breaks, when I was playing my albums during the breaks, saying, “Wow, is that Sheryl Crow‘s new album?”

I’m sorry, but it did hurt.

Now back to being happy and grateful…

MY FANS!!!  Thank you guys, for years of support at my shows, and on my albums!!  You get the Super Wicked Awesome Groovy Award!

And all of the radio stations that are playing EMOTIONAL JUKEBOX!!!  Thanks so much!!  Keep it spinning, like my head right now!!!

ANd the writers that took the time to speak with me AND LISTEN TO THE ALBUM!

I’d also like to thank all of the big time producers and engineers that heard my music, and thought enough of it to take the chance and go into the studio.  Tony Prendatt.  Many Grammys under his belt.  He believed in me.  We tried.  We broke the top 40.  Our label ran out of money to continue radio airplay.

What is that you may ask?  It isn’t payola, but, for some reason, in this business, you need a middle-man to get your music heard and potentially played on air.  And that person needs to get paid.  It’s his job.  So that’s all understandable.  But expensive for an Indie musician to support.

(I don’t have time to elaborate on society…why you need a middle man, why you can’t just represent yourself.  Because it is awkward tooting your own horn.  So you pay someone else to do it…to speak the truth of ones’ awesomeness!)

Ken Lewis, an engineer, and now Grammy Winner, heard me, and recorded me for free at Soundtrack’s Studio, in hopes of scoring us a deal. Engineer Steve Sisco, who recorded two of my albums at Soundtrack.

And The Soundtrack Group itself, owners Rob Cavicchio and John Kiehl, treated me like family.  They allowed me to record in their world class studio since I was 28 years old!  They believed in me.  Thanks you for your generosity and love.

And of course all of the brilliant musicians who have played on all of my albums, and Frank Wolf, who engineered Emotional Jukebox, Chornographey, and One Kiss at a Time.  You are a genius.

This is turning into the novel-long acceptance speech stuff, if I had the chance to even say one today…but even if I do, it has to be limited to 30 seconds.  And if I am not close enough to the stage, and jump up in time?  I miss my window.

Just one more thing to make my legs numb at the moment.

And then there is Fred Taylor.  My first manager.  What a wonderful human being.  From Boston.  My claim to fame with Freddy, is that he has seen many acts, before they made it, and predicted they would become famous.  I was one of them.  So, my claim to fame is that I am the only person he thought would have become famous….that did not.  Until Today!

Even if I lose, and I am trying to realistically put my mind in that frame, the nomination alone is success.

I hope it is enough to launch my career.

Speaking of which, you folks that read my blogs, that I write from my heart, for no money, that I assume you enjoy reading, because you keep reading, how about giving your dysfunctional girl a bump, and go order “Emotional Jukebox”, so I can pay for all of this shit after being nominated!

Plus, it’s only $9.99 for a double album to download…until tomorrow!!!  AHHHHH! AHHHHH!  Hurry!! While supplies last!!!

And the first 50 people that order the physical album starting NOW – will get a free “It’s A Beautiful Thing” Grammy Winner, T -shirt, courtesy of Boston Organ and Piano, IF I WIN.

AHHHHH! AHHHHH! It’s 8:30.  I have spent an hour writing this, and I have to start getting ready soon.

I have splurged on hair and make-up artists.  (Believe me, that took until last night to commit to!)  This nomination really has costed a fortune.  And I have always cut corners to survive as a full time musician.  So I am not used to shelling out the big bucks.  But today, I do want to look my best for the cameras.  It may be my last chance.

Oh snap.  There goes the nerves again.

But guess what??!!!  I met one of my idols yesterday, and got to walk the Red Carpet with him!  Introducing my next husband…

So I got that going for me!  I lost my already horse voice yesterday, screaming the loudest in the audience, when The Allman Brothers received the lifetime achievement award!  WHOOPIN’ POST!!! AHHHH!    Sometimes I feel……no time to sing!

Wish me luck!  Gotta go get dressed!! AHHHHH!

And wait until you see the dress!  One last thank you to Don O’Neill of Theia, Mary Beth Glauccom for introducing me to this amazing designer…who GAVE ME THE DRESS!!!  And to Joe, from Gold Tinker for hooking me up with the black diamond earrings.

I said I would buy them, if I won.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TUNE IN ON CBS.COM to watch the Pre-telecast with me!!!!  3pm EST


3 Responses to “7:20 a.m. PST My heart is pounding.”

  1. February 12, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    I have to admit, I was just introduced to you and your music because I solicited Scott for a like on the Pilot Recording Studio’s facebook page. He then sent me a fabulous note about you and your music and asked that I “like” you back. I’ve now purchased your cd that I think is awesome and started following your blog. I am so happy for you – your story is inspiring and encouraging. Good luck tonight – sending tons of support and love and know that I am among many. Take deep breaths and soak it all in.

  2. February 12, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    Sorry, but I just discovered you. I am writing a review for our independent radio station (WYCE in Grand Rapids, MI). and when I opened the cd, there was only disk I. At first I thought it was just a joke; however, from listening to your arrangements and music, I just have to assume that is was merely left out by mistake. I am anxious to put up the review, but it is only fair that I listen to disk II. Please advise how I can do that. Thank you for your help. And, thank you for your music.
    Steven “Nick” Nickelson
    p.s. You can read some of my reviews at: http://www.wyce.org/music Look for any albums that show :Nick’s Picks”.
    p.p.s. Good luck tonight.

  3. February 12, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    That was some tough competition! You are still a winner in so many ways! Be proud! Now go make some money will you!!

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Linda Chorney

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