silver medalists and black diamonds – part 1 – insomnia

I’m thinking more about people that come in second, for some obvious reason.  Do you ever think about the person, who by a split second, loses a race?  At least in the olympics they get to stand on the podium.  But how does it feel?

Here’s the deal.  You want to know what’s going on in my head right now?  Have they invented a muzzle for the brain?

So, it’s a cool story, right?  As far as I know, I am the first person, certainly in the Americana Category of the Grammys, in it’s short history, to be nominated as a self-promoted, self-produced artist.

And I am certainly getting some press.  (Today’s photo shoot was with this dude who has shot HUGE stars.  I walk in there, washed and blew dry my hair myself, slapped on some make-up, and click, snap, strike a pose.)  He is used to Brad and Angelina walking in.

I feel like a dumb-ass.  I smiled.  Like a friggin’ high school picture.  This guy has done portraits.  I am feeling overwhelmed, like I don’t know what I am doing.  I have no management, giving me a clue…It’s 4:11 am, and I can’t sleep.  He was totally nice, Carlo Allegri, and of course, he knows what he is doing.

But as far as television goes, they only want to talk to me IF I win.  So, I’m feeling the pressure of that.

And, although at the moment I am getting the star treatment, which is kinda cool, it has made me think.  (shocker).

For example, Gold Tinker has lent me these gorgeous black diamond earrings for the Red Carpet, and other events leading to the Grammys.

They are like 6 Grand.  I wore them today to NY.  I mean, they could just as well be costume, but they are not.  Like, someone might kill you over them, or not.  Does wearing something that valuable make one feel more valuable?  Not me.  I thought about that. Does it make me any happier to wear something so beautiful?  No.  Don’t get me wrong, they will look stunning with my dress….

And does the dress make me feel good inside?  Sure, it looks nice, but I feel better in jeans.

I told the jeweler that if I won, I would buy the earrings, but if I lost, I’d bring them back.

So, if I get the statue, you will see me on TV with the earrings, and you will know that they are real, and I will still take the subway, so please don’t mug me.  And if I don’t win?  Then what?  Silver earrings and busking in the subway?


1 Response to “silver medalists and black diamonds – part 1 – insomnia”

  1. January 12, 2012 at 7:14 AM

    I enjoy your music for the person it reveals you to be on the inside.
    While I hope your container (so to speak) Grabs a Grammy (some settling of contents in shippin gis normal), the results will in no way dampen my enjoyment of your art, and I hope that would be as true for you.
    You don’t strike me as someone who lives for the approval in othe people’s eyes. Please stay that way.

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Linda Chorney

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January 2012
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