Yes, it is ironic that I am dogging the internet, as I write this blog to many who would not be reading it, if it were not for the internet. (Ooh. That would be earth shattering.)
HOWEVER, there were other ways of getting information before.
There were other ways of communicating B.C.S. (Before Computer Surfing.)
There were other ways to listen to music! (That didn’t sound like ass on shitty little speakers that stream all over the house, that I have no idea how to control.)
There were other ways to learn!
There were other ways to have sex.
First of all, it makes things too easy. Google is the short cut to the dead-end in your brain.
We used to have to invest in thinking about the best way to get information.
Effortless, instant gratification makes us lazy.
And just because it is on Wiki, or the web, doesn’t make it true.
Children would be better educated without the internet. How?
They would actually have to write things, and do research without pressing a few keys. Parents would actually have to help them with their homework. Using their heads. And they would have the time! Why?
Because they would spend less time on the computer; they would not have to work 2 jobs, (if they were lucky enough to have them), because there would be more jobs. Why?
More need for employment in stores, travel agencies, newspapers, book publishers, record companies, brokers, (yes, I know you’re thinking eliminating brokers isn’t so bad…ah, if we could only eliminate the lawyers!)
But most of all “CUSTOMER SERVICE“, where people might speak to you face to face, keeping the jobs in this country.
Yah, I very small percentage are getting very rich off of the internet, some steeling your identity, some just got lucky. But most have suffered.
WHAT WOULD I MISS MOST ABOUT NOT HAVING INTERNET?
1) Getting Recipes
2) Searching for people I no longer like to see if they got fat and aged poorly!
3) Finding Bargains
4) Looking at photos of places where I’d like to go
5) Looking at sexual positions where I would never go
6) Looking at houses for sale that I will never be able to afford to buy.
7) This video on youtube..(which I have seen 2 of the 3 million plus hits.)
WHAT I WON’T MISS?
Trees would be the largest sufferer. And that would suck.
And I wouldn’t be able to just live in my own little world without ever leaving the house, because I have no patience for people these days.
I would have to get dressed and go food shopping! Ah!
Which I had better do today! And I better remember my recycled bags so I don’t trash anymore trees! 50% of the time I forget to bring my bags, and I feel guilty!
But, the “Social Network” is really the Social Assassin. I hope the rumors are true about Facebook! I hope they start charging and everyone drops out and claims their life again. I don’t give a fuck what you ate today, and I don’t want to see your cat.
Minds have turned to mush from believing things on the internet…but alas, there is still FOX News!
And speaking of FOX, I am not suggesting we go back to the dark ages, just the speaking ages. No video games!!!! How about getting together with friends and playing cards? Going away without having to check your email all the time!
The prices of airline tickets would still be competitive. And you might even have the time and money to go on vacation! (Without your laptop.)
And you might be closer to your family, because there would not be texting at dinner, and you might be able to stay home with your little child, and not put her in daycare while you work to make ends meet, even though daycare costs more than you are making.
Whack jobs burning books would not be seen all over the world, causing death with the press of a button! Why do we give these people more attention anyway? To get more hits on youtube? Cyber bullying would not exist.
Yes, I know there are many wonderful things on the internet, like looking at other parts of the world, instead of traveling there, free porn, and free music, so you don’t have to go out and get laid, and support places that used to have live entertainment to see it.
My blog would be a book that you could buy! My albums would have to be purchased, rather than pirated.
And then I wouldn’t be so fucking miserable that I have a blog.
P.S. (5 hours later) I went shopping, forgot my bags, and I swear on the way home, a bus stopped, a kid got off on Rumson Road (for the locals), which is a pretty major street, and as he got out he stood in the middle of the road texting. Did I yell at him? What do you think?
P.P.S. If Facebook charges – don’t forget to sign up for my blog! Cuz I ain’t payin’.