23
Aug
11

I AM A CROSS BETWEEN ECKART TOLLE & SAM KINISON

Sure Eckhart, we all create our own suffering.  “The Power of Now” says we have a choice on how to take things, how to react, or not react.  That is all true.

Eckhart Toll

Ya get a free bowl of consciousness with that hat?

(How sweet is he?    I really do admire him.  I’m jealous of his super powers.)

What about when a drunk driver hits your kid?  Or some wackadoodle goes postal?

Or your neighbor blasts music late at night and it wakes you up from that deep sleep you so desperately needed?  Or you see someone throw their cigarette butt out the window?

Or someone flies an airplane into your office?  Congress.  You find out you have been cheated on.

Or your husband puts the toilet paper roll in backwards?  (That really drives me nuts!)  We are trained to grab from the top!  It feels totally unnatural to reach around the bottom.

Leaving kitchen cabinets open…leaving lights on.

Talking to health insurance companies to try to find out what the fuck is covered, and what isn’t this week.  Fucking morons that don’t want healthcare paid for, so insurance companies can yank you around and keep getting richer.  People passing the buck for massive oil spills…and getting tax breaks.

I could go on forever, but then I would be creating more suffering!  “I’ve got the power” -bant bant bant- (I’m singing the song in my head..feel free to sing along).

I wrote this really Zen song on my “1 Kiss At a Time” album.   It was my reaction to the Anthrax scare.   Here’s the chorus…

“I can’t control the world, so I have to control myself.

losing it won’t do me any good, as well as anybody else

I can’t control the world, so I have to control myself

And try to understand it may be not in my hands

and go about my life and just love”

“Control” By Linda Chorney released 2006 as a track from 1 Kiss At A Time

(To view this music player you need to have Flash Player 9 or newer installed and JavaScript enabled. This flash MP3 player for website was built with PodSnack.)

Wow, man.  Garoovey, peaceful message.  But,

WHAT THE FUCK!!  AHHH!  AHHH!

(You may recite that like the late great Sam Kinison for proper impact).

AHH! AHHH!

This is why we have comedians.  Truly, 75% can’t handle the world.  It is their outlet.  And some of us write music to get things off of our chests.  (Or blog.)

But what about everyone else?  Therapists are very expensive, and they are more fucked up than comedians.

On paper, it all makes sense.  Then human nature steps in.  It really would be so much healthier to just say, “Well, getting angry won’t improve the situation.  Just don’t let it get to you”.  La la la.  And I really tried.  (Then I stopped.  It was exhausting!)

I’m not encouraging outbursts.  But you know what really pisses me off?  “It’s all God‘s plan…Oh, it was meant to be…”.  (Like Sept 11th?)  FUCK YOU!  (That was meant to be coming out of my mouth.)

And BREAKING NEWS:  Talk about bad timing – Earthquake hits Washington while Congress is absent?  A missed opportunity to shake some sense into them?  This proves, unequivocally that there is no God.

Okay. Break.  Let me find my latest Eckhart Tolle book that says the same shit as his other books…read Linda!  Meditate!  Concentrate!  Be Meh-low!  Meh-low!  (A scene from Cheech and Chong‘s “Up In Smoke” is in my head right now.  Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.  See clip at end of blog.  Or don’t.)

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it” – Eckhart Tolle

“No Shit?” – Linda Chorney

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”  – Eckhart Tolle   (That one’s not working for me….at the moment.)

Ahh!  Here’s one!!

“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” 

I’m all better now!

Here’s a bunch of his quotes that might work for you, just incase you create your own suffering, too.

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4493.Eckhart_Tolle

Wouldn’t it be awesome to see a therapy session with Eckart Tolle and Sam Kinison?  There is a great skit for SNL.  THAT IS MINE!  Oh, but if the idea is stolen?  It will help the evolution of my consciousness?

Uh oh!  AHH! AHHH! Let me watch Cheech and Chong to mellow me out again!

If you have the time, check out this clip.  Live in the now of hilariousness!  (To cut right to the mellow sequence in my head from above – forward to 6 minute point).  But maybe live in the later, and watch it all then, if you happen to be at work in the now –  fucking off!)

Isn’t it great fucking off in the now?  Is your mind at work?  Where are you?  Can you tell your boss he needs the experience of you fucking off in order for him (or her) to evolve? (And maybe give you a raise so he will receive total consciousness?)

Caddy Shack BillMurray

Bill Murray – head grounds keeper.

btw, “UP IN SMOKE”  One of my favorite movies of all time!  You do not need to be high to laugh.

Ties with “CADDYSHACK” on my list.  Caddyshack Nation (who’s with me?) thanks Harold Ramis for his brilliant humor and hours of fun quoting him in the now and then!

Hey Harold!    When we gonna jam again?  You Rock!

Harold Ramis with me in Aspen!

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3 Responses to “I AM A CROSS BETWEEN ECKART TOLLE & SAM KINISON”


  1. August 24, 2011 at 6:10 AM

    my goodness. did i ever laugh from up in smoke clip. my wife just called in from the den, why was i hysterical laughing. “what’s his name” “R..a….l…p…h.” meanwhile a fair amount of commonality for a wednesday morning. you know what Linda. thanks for making me remember things. i dabbled with power of now too. quite relevant for new jersey living. and i’ve also been trying to get a membership for bushwood country club. “forgive me scotty,if i kill all the golfers…” not golfers, gophers.” Linda, its what i love about your blog. relevancy, immediacy, poignancy and lets “see” what else. you be a wonderful communicator. and you were with harold in aspen.

    • August 24, 2011 at 6:27 AM

      Maybe I should run for office..(such a wonderful communicator). I have a song called “dance more less war”, where I encourage politicians to smoke some weed, listen to some reggae, and stop the fussin’ and fightin’!

      I do love Harold Ramis. He is a fucking hero! Loved him in Stripes, too. And such a nice guy.

      Eckhart has helped me a bit….but not enough, obviously.

      Glad I could give you a laugh, Cal!


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