18
Aug
11

CUDDLERS VS. NON-CUDDLERS

Although the country is presently divided, there are still inter-political romantic relationships.

 Some of them survive.

Although there are major rivalries in sports, there are still Yankees fans and Red Sox fans in love with each other.

Although there are total assholes, and really nice people, some of them marry each other, and they stay together.  Guess which one I am?  Wicked awesome retro ski wear, huh?

Even Jews and Palestinians somewhere fall in love.

(Although, I could only find one photo.)

BTW – Top 3 funniest “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episodes EVER!

which reminds me, stay tuned for my next blog!  It’s my new Musical for Broadway!  Semi-Seriously!

Different faiths intermingle, different cultures, skiers and snowboarders, all races….there is always something that can bond a romantic relationship, with one exception.

Cuddlers verses Non-Cuddlers.

A prime example:  A Liberal asshole, Jewtheist, die hard Red Sox fan can be with a nice, fiscally Republican, Episcopaliagnostic, die-hard Yankees fan, as long as they share the same category above.  Fortunately, this couple is in the Cuddler category, otherwise we probably would have batted each other to death by now.  (Photo courtesy of Walter O’Neil).

This does not necessarily apply for platonic relationships.   Cuddlers and Non Cuddlers can work together, or be friends!  Can you guess who belongs to what category in this photo?

I’m not being judgmental on this rare occasion… If you don’t like holding and caressing,  that’s perfectly okay.  But what the fuck is wrong with you?  Oops.  Was that judgemental?  I guess I am just not capable.  Sorry.  But at least I am a judgmental cuddler!  I love to cuddle.

It would seem that more men would be Non-Cuddlers, especially the ones that force themselves to be, only when horny.  Once it’s over, the cuddler shrivels up, just like he does.

But there are women as well that don’t have the cuddle gene.  They might be the ones that just want to get sex over with; the ones that drop their nail file if they have that orgasm.   And that is perfectly normal!  (That was another attempt at faking being non-judgemental…did you buy it?)

The entire population of the earth is either a cuddler or a non-cuddler.

This is the only characteristic that if you do not share with your partner, will doom your relationship, hands down.  

You may stay together, but you will not be happy.

For the Cuddler, they want to cuddle.  The Non-Cuddler doesn’t.  (Duh.)  The Non-Cudler feels like the Cuddler is too needy.  The Cuddler feels rejected and unfulfilled by the Non-Cuddler.  The Cuddler will hold back, not to annoy the Non-Cuddler, and avoid the rejection.  The Non-Cuddler sometimes sacrifices and makes an attempt at cuddling, like I make an attempt at being non-judgmental.  It’s fake.  But if it is not in their make-up, it’s not in their make up.  They can’t help it.

Cuddlers are lovey dovey.  They are truly affectionate people.  (Even though some can be assholes.)  It feels so good to spoon, as long as it is not too hot, of course.  (Or if someone lets one go…then you take a temporary break, and get back into position!)

A fun game I play with myself is the “Celebrity Cuddle Game!”  I try to guess which category they are in.  You can play, too!  The fun never ends!

CUDDLERS:  Brad and Angelina, Al PacinoBette Middler, Gandhi, Bill Clinton, (I think Hillary might be on the other team. Hey!  That would explain Monica!)… Monica Lewinski, Laurence Fishburne, George Bush, (Ya don’t even have to be smart to cuddle!), Ellen Degeneres, Jon Stewart,Jimmy Falon, Bill Gates, Derek Jeter, W.C. Fields, Grouch Marks, Picasso, Linda Chorney, (Snuck myself in, so I could show off photo opps with Celebs!)Bruce SpringsteenKeith Richards, President Obama, Nelson Mandela, Sarah Palin, (But not on the bus tour.  Too busy brushing up on her U.S. History.)

NON-CUDDLERS:  A Till of the Hun, Dick Cheney, Larry Bird, Yosemite Sam, That Bitchy Blond from FOX, Frida Kahlo, Hitler, (well maybe with little boys), Charles Manson, Michele Bachmann, One guy I dated for a minute, George Will, Bernie Madoff, Winnie Mandela, Kim Jong Il, Larry David.  (But I love him!)  (Larry, if I am wrong, please let me know, but I’m pretty, pretty, pretty, sure.)

NOT SURE:  Glenn Beck, O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Bill O’Reilly, Manny Ramirez, Arod, Keith Olbermann, John McCain, Mussolini, Hillary Clinton, Osama Bin Deadnow, David Letterman, Hugh Grant, Oprah Winfrey, (I’m really on the fence with her.  And if I’m lucky, when she is on it she will be at the lighter weight so it won’t break.  Yeah, I know that was a cheap shot.  But she’s fat, then thin, then fat, then thin…Maybe she cuddles when she is heavier, and not when she’s thinner, because she’s pissed off from being too hungry?  Low blow?  Sorry, it’s just where my brain went.  I think she is awesome!  And I hate dieting.  I know I can control my fingers on the keyboard, as opposed to my thoughts.  But I would lose integrity if I just didn’t write what I am really thinking.  Ya know what I am thinking right now?  SHUT THE FUCK UP LINDA!)

Advertisements

2 Responses to “CUDDLERS VS. NON-CUDDLERS”


  1. August 18, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    Am I a cuddler or a non cuddler Linda??????

    • August 20, 2011 at 5:25 PM

      Of course you must be!


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Linda Chorney


All things that are CHORNEY

Linda Chorney Twitter

Linda Chorney Schedule

August 2011
S M T W T F S
« Jul   Sep »
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

%d bloggers like this: